Showing posts with label Hot Ash. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hot Ash. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
My Driver's License should have a color wheel. In the past 10 years I've been almost every shade of brown and red, and I've even been blonde. That being said, I have a couple of different photos of myself on my dating profile and they all have a different hair cut or color. Clearly this guy didn't know what to make of that so he tried to cover all of the bases.
I guess maybe I should give him a little credit, he did try to be inclusive of all my hair colors. What would have been even better is if he would have tried having a conversation with me. Maybe we could have done something like he talked about on his profile....
"A good lunch followed by couple drinks and good conversation. Finding out there are plenty of things to talk about due to similar opinion and interests. Also if you don't approve of medicinal marijuana then you are either so brain washed or so stupid that I cant talk to you. Any doctor that prescribes opiate pain medication before exploring if marijuana would work first should have their medical license permanently taken away."Instead, I get this weird first message. And did I mention that he kinda looks like a drug user? I'm down with P.O.T but this guy kind of looked like he might dabble in meth or something. Maybe I'm just being a judgmental asshole against weird-looking skinny dudes.
I didn't respond for a few days, but then decided that when in doubt, honesty is the best policy and I responded with the most honest answer I could:
Are you sure? My personal toys actually spend most of their time under my bed with the batteries ripped out.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
It has become a habit of mine to ask men who approach me with "lines" like this if it has ever actually worked for them... a practice I should stop immediately because the response sometimes leaves me with such intense fear for the future and shame that I don't know what I do with myself.
I'm all about casual sex if both parties consent and it is mutually beneficial. I'm all about men and women going out and getting what it is they want and desire from every relationship. But I cannot for the life of me understand how this approach appeals to anyone. Maybe there is something severely lacking in my sexual past, but I can't imagine ever being so into oral sex that I respond positively to a man who wants to eat his way into my heart.
Maybe I've just been hit on by one too many men who make me think they might actually want to eat me to be interested. Clearly online dating has begun damaging my perception of the world, especially when it comes to eating anything.
Not to mention... "Want ur box eaten then?" is the second most unsexy approach to getting a face full of my nether regions I've ever heard, right after the first thing this guy said to me.
Monday, September 22, 2014
I'm a Seinfeld fan. I don't care for Jerry Seinfeld's Stand Up (makes no sense, I know), but I love the sitcom. One of my favorite episodes is the one where Jerry is dating the woman who likes to be naked all of the time and one day he has to explain "bad naked" (like squatting or coughing while naked) to his friends who can't figure out the downside of being naked all the time.
On my OkCupid profile, for the "Most Private Thing You're Willing to Admit" I have: I like to be naked under my clothes. Also, I shower completely in the nude. And I despise bad naked (bonus points if you get the reference).
I think I'm funny.
Most of the time, people don't get my Seinfeld Show references, which is unfortunate because I make them all the time. But one of the few times someone does get one... and it is this guy. If his message wasn't weird enough... check out his profile.
So... a hot, horny, high, and Hispanic handyman hanging out at home hoping to be your homebound houseboy.
That's too much Alliteration. Even for me. Sorry Dude.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
I hate to disappoint everyone who looks forward to the Douche of the Week, but we don't have one this week!
Starting next week, we'll be featuring either a Douchebag or a Diamond on our DOTW posts. We hope you enjoy and stay tuned. And as always... your submissions are appreciated!
DO NOT FEAR! There is no shortage of Douches in the World or in the lives of the DoucheArt Duo.
However, in light of recent events we've decided that we need to do more than just highlight the actions of the dickbags of the World. Without the dark, there is no light and we would be remiss if we didn't occasionally take a time out from highlighting what goes on in the dark corners of the Internet and online dating to acknowledge the truly great things people are doing in an attempt to try and make not just the Internet, but dating and the world in general a better place.
So now we bring you.... the "Diamond of the Week". The people who are out there confronting douchebags deserve just as much acknowledgement and recognition, if not more so, as the "people" we regularly feature on our site and we would like to do that.
So now we bring you.... the "Diamond of the Week". The people who are out there confronting douchebags deserve just as much acknowledgement and recognition, if not more so, as the "people" we regularly feature on our site and we would like to do that.
Starting next week, we'll be featuring either a Douchebag or a Diamond on our DOTW posts. We hope you enjoy and stay tuned. And as always... your submissions are appreciated!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
This is the first time in my entire life that someone has asked me if I would be their little... wait, what?
The worst part? He thinks he "blew it" because of autocorrect but not because of the actual message. Yeah, because the TYPO is what was wrong with what he said to me. Seriously, Fuckstick? Seriously?
Honestly, some days you think you've heard it all and it can't get worse. But then it's like... someone finds a new twist on an old insult and it is enraging all over again, and that is how I feel about Joe and his first message.
The best part was his profile, as he is apparently "educated" and the rest basically writes itself. This might be the dumbest profile I've ever seen. Seriously.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
I didn't even answer the first by the time the second message came.
"Dam girl what's up with you"
I don't even know how to translate that. Is he literally asking me what's up? Is he trying to ask me why I didn't respond to his first message? I'm confused either way.
But this is the kind of message you get when you take down your profile picture. You know... no one called me "girl" when I was one, except the little Chinese lady who owned the restaurant we used to go to as a family when I was a kid. But she called all of us "girl" or "boy" respectively, and while I haven't seen her in years I'm relatively certain she would STILL call me that today in spite of the fact that I'm 28 years old. She still calls my brother "boy" and he's like 6'2 and she only comes up to the middle of his chest.
My point? The only person who gets to call me "girl" is a Chinese woman in her 60's who used to send me home with styrofoam containers of Chinese food even though we showed up for the buffet.
And learn how to spell "Damn". It's a fucking four letter word, dumb ass. Ugh... nothing locks up my ability to communicate with someone who is an idiot AND can't spell.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
It was the slap heard by Country Music Fans everywhere.
I am of course talking about Tim McGraw "bitch slapping" fan Jesslyn Taylor at a concert in Atlanta early in July. I'm bringing it up now because video has been released.
If you haven't heard the story yet... basically, Tim was performing at a venue in Atlanta when he went down on a lower level to high five fans in the front row. This is where the details get muddled... but original reports stated that a fan was slapping his butt, grabbing at his groin and eventually ripped his already torn jeans before he turned around and slapped her. The woman was removed by security and Atlanta Police opted not to pursue the matter as they found his reaction "reasonable".
So, who is the douche... Mr. McGraw or Jesslyn Taylor?
What I'm going to say is going to sound pretty Stephen Smith-esque; when I first heard the story the version I heard was that the fan (Jesslyn) had reached up and grabbed him in the crotch and while I did not agree with the fact that he hit her, I felt that Tim McGraw deserves to live free of sexual assault as much as anyone else and so I was on "his side".
When I heard she was pursuing a settlement and legal action based on the ground of being assaulted, I rolled my eyes a little. Then I saw the film of the slap.
I am of course talking about Tim McGraw "bitch slapping" fan Jesslyn Taylor at a concert in Atlanta early in July. I'm bringing it up now because video has been released.
Jesslyn Taylor
If you haven't heard the story yet... basically, Tim was performing at a venue in Atlanta when he went down on a lower level to high five fans in the front row. This is where the details get muddled... but original reports stated that a fan was slapping his butt, grabbing at his groin and eventually ripped his already torn jeans before he turned around and slapped her. The woman was removed by security and Atlanta Police opted not to pursue the matter as they found his reaction "reasonable".
So, who is the douche... Mr. McGraw or Jesslyn Taylor?
What I'm going to say is going to sound pretty Stephen Smith-esque; when I first heard the story the version I heard was that the fan (Jesslyn) had reached up and grabbed him in the crotch and while I did not agree with the fact that he hit her, I felt that Tim McGraw deserves to live free of sexual assault as much as anyone else and so I was on "his side".
When I heard she was pursuing a settlement and legal action based on the ground of being assaulted, I rolled my eyes a little. Then I saw the film of the slap.
Tim McGraw -- Bitch Slaps Female Fan
Which brings me to our first Double Douche of the Week...because both Tim McGraw and Jesslyn Taylor acted douchey.
Performers of any kind deserve to be able to perform, live, and do anything they want without being subject to sexual harassment and assault. Just because they live so much of their life in public does not mean they do not have any rights to their own space, privacy or their own bodies. The way some people act around celebrities is disgusting... celebrities (music stars, actors, atheletes) do not owe fans anything other than gratitude (no celebrity becomes a celebrity without fans) and the same respect that should be given to any human being.
The videos show a woman repeatedly slapping Mr. McGraw on the butt, grabbing at his legs, and then tearing his jeans... that is beyond inappropriate. It's been said that Jesslyn Taylor just wanted to "touch her hero". That's fucking disgusting. If you want to reach out and "touch your hero" you do it with some goddamn respect and don't hinder his performance and assault him in front of thousands of people; Treat him like a "hero" and not a sexual object who should be subjected to your behavior. There is no reason or justification for reaching out and touching someone that way and what Jesslyn Taylor did was sexually harass and assault someone in a crowd of people, damage his property (already ripped or not, she had no fucking right) and create a situation that was uncomfortable for many people. She was a fucking douche in the extreme.
Don't get me wrong though... Tim McGraw isn't any fucking better. He's just as big of a douche in this situation. Even one of People's Sexiest Men Alive deserves to be able to perform without being sexually harassed and assaulted. Had he stopped at swatting away her hand or had he slapped her hand away more forcefully than he did... I would still be in his corner. But watching him turn around, pull back and wallop her... it was a pretty shocking image and seeing how smoothly it happened makes me genuinely wonder if this was the first time he's ever pulled back and slapped a woman like that. We've said it here before, and I'll say it again in this situation, while I realize that celebrities are people too... when you make a choice to live a publicized life as a "hero" and "role-model" you have a responsibility and an obligation of sorts to act worthy of such titles, and McGraw failed in this.
At the end of the day... they both acted inappropriately. And while Jesslyn Taylor was the first to be inappropriate, Tim McGraw reacted in a way that was over the top and inappropriate as well. The whole situation is douchey. Jesslyn Taylor needs to get a fucking clue about how to be a fan and not an aggressive fanatic... and this noise about suing for being humiliated... well, suck it up Buttercup, because you should be embarrassed of your actions. Jesslyn Taylor doesn't deserve a goddamn thing after the way she acted especially not in terms of a settlement. And Tim McGraw... well, Jesslyn Taylor was the inappropriate aggressor, but I don't feel that reacting with such violence was McGraw's only option. There has been a huge argument that if the star involved had been a female, and the aggressor a man... there would be a totally different reaction, possibly even cheering. I'm struggling because I feel that no one should get to hit another person and have it be "ok", but the fact of the matter is... there IS a difference between a woman hitting a man and a man hitting a woman. Both are totally inappropriate on many levels and while both of us here at DoucheArt would like to see men and women as equals, we'd be fools to think that means there are no differences between genders (when talking about cisgender men and women). Men are typically physically stronger and come with a hell of a lot more societal power. The powerful using brute force to keep those under him in line is always going to be more offensive, less acceptable.
It is grossly apparent that something needs to change about attitudes towards performers and celebrities... especially when fans feel it is appropriate and warranted to assault and sexually assault performers. But at the end of the day, both Jesslyn Taylor and Tim McGraw are both guilty of being the douche in this situation. Either way, I see two people who need to learn to keep their hands to themselves.
-- Hot Ash
Which brings me to our first Double Douche of the Week...because both Tim McGraw and Jesslyn Taylor acted douchey.
Performers of any kind deserve to be able to perform, live, and do anything they want without being subject to sexual harassment and assault. Just because they live so much of their life in public does not mean they do not have any rights to their own space, privacy or their own bodies. The way some people act around celebrities is disgusting... celebrities (music stars, actors, atheletes) do not owe fans anything other than gratitude (no celebrity becomes a celebrity without fans) and the same respect that should be given to any human being.
The videos show a woman repeatedly slapping Mr. McGraw on the butt, grabbing at his legs, and then tearing his jeans... that is beyond inappropriate. It's been said that Jesslyn Taylor just wanted to "touch her hero". That's fucking disgusting. If you want to reach out and "touch your hero" you do it with some goddamn respect and don't hinder his performance and assault him in front of thousands of people; Treat him like a "hero" and not a sexual object who should be subjected to your behavior. There is no reason or justification for reaching out and touching someone that way and what Jesslyn Taylor did was sexually harass and assault someone in a crowd of people, damage his property (already ripped or not, she had no fucking right) and create a situation that was uncomfortable for many people. She was a fucking douche in the extreme.
Tim McGraw
Don't get me wrong though... Tim McGraw isn't any fucking better. He's just as big of a douche in this situation. Even one of People's Sexiest Men Alive deserves to be able to perform without being sexually harassed and assaulted. Had he stopped at swatting away her hand or had he slapped her hand away more forcefully than he did... I would still be in his corner. But watching him turn around, pull back and wallop her... it was a pretty shocking image and seeing how smoothly it happened makes me genuinely wonder if this was the first time he's ever pulled back and slapped a woman like that. We've said it here before, and I'll say it again in this situation, while I realize that celebrities are people too... when you make a choice to live a publicized life as a "hero" and "role-model" you have a responsibility and an obligation of sorts to act worthy of such titles, and McGraw failed in this.
At the end of the day... they both acted inappropriately. And while Jesslyn Taylor was the first to be inappropriate, Tim McGraw reacted in a way that was over the top and inappropriate as well. The whole situation is douchey. Jesslyn Taylor needs to get a fucking clue about how to be a fan and not an aggressive fanatic... and this noise about suing for being humiliated... well, suck it up Buttercup, because you should be embarrassed of your actions. Jesslyn Taylor doesn't deserve a goddamn thing after the way she acted especially not in terms of a settlement. And Tim McGraw... well, Jesslyn Taylor was the inappropriate aggressor, but I don't feel that reacting with such violence was McGraw's only option. There has been a huge argument that if the star involved had been a female, and the aggressor a man... there would be a totally different reaction, possibly even cheering. I'm struggling because I feel that no one should get to hit another person and have it be "ok", but the fact of the matter is... there IS a difference between a woman hitting a man and a man hitting a woman. Both are totally inappropriate on many levels and while both of us here at DoucheArt would like to see men and women as equals, we'd be fools to think that means there are no differences between genders (when talking about cisgender men and women). Men are typically physically stronger and come with a hell of a lot more societal power. The powerful using brute force to keep those under him in line is always going to be more offensive, less acceptable.
It is grossly apparent that something needs to change about attitudes towards performers and celebrities... especially when fans feel it is appropriate and warranted to assault and sexually assault performers. But at the end of the day, both Jesslyn Taylor and Tim McGraw are both guilty of being the douche in this situation. Either way, I see two people who need to learn to keep their hands to themselves.
-- Hot Ash
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
This was a submission from one of our faithful readers. We're going to call her Hot Dee... and I suspect she's going to have a lot of submissions for us in the near future. Plus... I LOVE how she isn't taking crap from these guys!
I'm honestly still trying to decipher the first message from Pete.... I'm not sure what he is trying to say. "I have ALL those".... maybe Hot Dee has a list of dating qualifications? Maybe he means he wants a "lil" of something Hot Dee's got? I have no idea.
The best part? He acknowledges that his message was bad, gives a half-assed apology and then comes back "just looking for a piece of ass". I don't know why looking for a piece of ass means you shouldn't put some effort into it... at the very least use some punctuation, fuckstick. Why the hell do people think that just because you're looking for a hook up you shouldn't come off as at least reasonably intelligent?
Maybe I'm an asshole, but if you can't put even a little effort into your shitty ass line I'm not going to see what kind of lame ass attempt you put into your bedroom performance. I get it... being able to form a sentence and "perform" are two different things, but I can't help but think if you can't put a little effort into getting my clothes off, I doubt you're going to put effort into getting ME off and that is all there is to it.
Hot Dee ended the conversation with "Wrong page, but good luck." I think I'm going to make that my trademark response.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Sometimes, DoucheArt comes from unexpected places. I'm on Ask.FM and rarely get questions. But sometimes I like to answer the Question of the Day. This is what happened last week:
I thought I was being funny. I mean... yeah, I kind of opened the door for this kind of response, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would result in someone I presumably don't know asking me to pleasure them. You would think I would know better by now. You. Would. Think.
But... if it gets old fast, why the hell would you think that I would want to do it? I'm still confused as to whether or not it was a serious offer, or they were just trying to give me material. Either way, thanks I guess. - Ash
Sunday, July 20, 2014
This week we have a different kind of Douche of the Week. One that is particularly reprehensible to me because of the nature of her offenses which affect not only her but countless other victims.
In December 2013, a woman named Joanie Faircloth made accusations against Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst in the comments of an article posted on XOJane.com. The accusations first appeared in the comments, and again later on a now-deleted Tumblr account, that Oberst raped her after a show in 2003 when she was 16 years old. She later made claims that she was offered money to keep quiet about the rape.
The other day I got into a conversation that I should not have gotten into. I made a statement about Rape Culture and found myself arguing with a woman who lives in a closet about the fact that it does, in fact, exist. A woman who looked me in the face and told me that her boys were told in high school that they needed to be careful not to be left alone with girls because "they can say anything they want", which she repeated was a true fact. The fact that boys can do the same thing apparently never crossed her mind. There are multiple details I'm leaving out of this, personal details about the individual with which I had this conversation, but she is really not in any position to discuss anything that is going on in this country or the World as she lives in a bubble. A bubble that perpetuates rape culture based on the fact that it never happened to her, and she doesn't believe her children are capable of doing so. She also doesn't believe that one in 4 women is a victim of sexual assault. How nice for you, dear, to live in such a world but your perception is not a reality.
Which brings me to where we are now...
Reading the news story, including the claims that were made, I don't want to believe that she made it up. I want to have sympathy for Joanie Faircloth. It appears she apparently has a very ill son. There is something inside of me that wants to believe that maybe with her sick son... the bills and the desperation reached a point where the amount of hush money was being offered was enough to pay off some of the bills being accrued due to her son's autism and kidney disease. I want to think that maybe she would rather be nationally branded as a liar while the medical bills are quietly being paid. I want to think that maybe she's sacrificing her character and reputation for the sake of her son.
Sadly, I mostly just think perhaps Joanie Faircloth just has some serious issues. And while maybe I should take the route of compassion, as I have no idea what it is like to have an incredibly ill son and maybe this was some kind of cry for help from Joanie who must be struggling with complex feelings and emotions I don't have any way of understanding... I'd be lying if I said that I didn't also seriously wonder if her son's illness isn't yet another fabrication, or even worse Munchausen by proxy syndrome. But I'm just so incredibly angry.
So, Joanie... fuck you. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself for so many reasons. You are perpetuating the perpetuation of "the girl who cried rape". And for that FUCK YOU. Your story only gives credit to the weak minded people who don't believe that ONE IN FOUR college women has reported being a survivor or rape of attempted rape since their 14th birthday. Your bullshit undermines every sexual assault, and completely reinforces the ass backwards thinking of an entire country that doesn't do near enough for it's victims and contributes to the reason why 60% of rapes go unreported. Seeing as you aren't actually a victim, you have no idea what it is like to try and tell someone what happened to you only to have someone try and cover it up or tell you that you made it up or make you feel ashamed for what you wore, what you drank, how you acted, who you hung out with, who you slept with before or where you went.
You're almost just as guilty as the fucking rapists. You might not be there ignoring pleas to stop. You might not be there taking advantage of someone who is so inebriated they don't know where they are. You might not be a sick bystander who takes pictures and posts them online instead of helping someone as their being victimized. You might not know the victims or have anything to do with what actually happens to them, including the cover-ups and the victim blaming. But... you come up. You're a part of it every fucking time someone says "Girls lie. They can say whatever they want". You're a part of Steubenville, you're a part of the Maryland Rape case involving Daisy Coleman, and you're a part of Jada's Sexual Assault case.
Think about that. Think about what happened to those girls. And part of the reason they weren't taken seriously, didn't get help from police and authorities, were mocked and degraded and embarrassed and humiliated online by millions of commenters... is because of fucking bitches like you.
I'm sure someone out there thinks I'm being cruel in light of your situation. I think you're not just undermining sexual assault victims, you're disrespecting every parent dealing with a sick child who gives up everything to be with them, who stays up late in hospital rooms listening to labored breathing, who hugs their child before surgery not knowing if it is the last time they'll see them alive, who watches their pre-teen struggle with incontinence, who holds their child in bed praying for one more night or for peace or for their health, who knows their son will never drive or play football, who carries their teenager into the shower, who struggles to pay bills and yet still finds a way to cope, finds a way to deal with the pain of that without resorting to accusing an innocent man of rape. The reason children's hospitals exist is because there are so many sick children... have you ever looked around you at the people who are somehow finding a way to cope without resorting to attempting to ruin another person's life? While I don't know your exact situation and I don't know what that feels like, I know there are so many parents in worse situations... and yet somehow those people are still trying to find a way to be good people, to be examples for their child and for their other children, striving to be good people and embrace blessings and be blessings to others through their pain and not inflicting more pain on others.
You should be ashamed of yourself. I have so much more I want to say. I want to scream. I want to call you names. I want to tell you exactly what I think of you. I want to tell you, most of all, that you make me feel ashamed... if only because of the fact that we have something in common: our genitals.
- Ash
In December 2013, a woman named Joanie Faircloth made accusations against Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst in the comments of an article posted on XOJane.com. The accusations first appeared in the comments, and again later on a now-deleted Tumblr account, that Oberst raped her after a show in 2003 when she was 16 years old. She later made claims that she was offered money to keep quiet about the rape.
A photo from Joanie Faircloth's Facebook page
This past Monday, Joanie recanted all of her claims, in a statement which read:
The statements I made and repeated online and elsewhere over the past six months accusing Conor Oberst of raping me are 100% false. I made up those lies about him to get attention while I was going through a difficult period in my life and trying to cope with my son’s illness. I publicly retract my statements about Conor Oberst, and sincerely apologize to him, his family, and his fans for writing such awful things about him. I realize that my actions were wrong and could undermine the claims of actual sexual assault victims and for that I also apologize. I’m truly sorry for all the pain that I caused. - Spin.comSo many thoughts. I'm so angry that I don't even know where to start.
The other day I got into a conversation that I should not have gotten into. I made a statement about Rape Culture and found myself arguing with a woman who lives in a closet about the fact that it does, in fact, exist. A woman who looked me in the face and told me that her boys were told in high school that they needed to be careful not to be left alone with girls because "they can say anything they want", which she repeated was a true fact. The fact that boys can do the same thing apparently never crossed her mind. There are multiple details I'm leaving out of this, personal details about the individual with which I had this conversation, but she is really not in any position to discuss anything that is going on in this country or the World as she lives in a bubble. A bubble that perpetuates rape culture based on the fact that it never happened to her, and she doesn't believe her children are capable of doing so. She also doesn't believe that one in 4 women is a victim of sexual assault. How nice for you, dear, to live in such a world but your perception is not a reality.
Which brings me to where we are now...
Reading the news story, including the claims that were made, I don't want to believe that she made it up. I want to have sympathy for Joanie Faircloth. It appears she apparently has a very ill son. There is something inside of me that wants to believe that maybe with her sick son... the bills and the desperation reached a point where the amount of hush money was being offered was enough to pay off some of the bills being accrued due to her son's autism and kidney disease. I want to think that maybe she would rather be nationally branded as a liar while the medical bills are quietly being paid. I want to think that maybe she's sacrificing her character and reputation for the sake of her son.
Sadly, I mostly just think perhaps Joanie Faircloth just has some serious issues. And while maybe I should take the route of compassion, as I have no idea what it is like to have an incredibly ill son and maybe this was some kind of cry for help from Joanie who must be struggling with complex feelings and emotions I don't have any way of understanding... I'd be lying if I said that I didn't also seriously wonder if her son's illness isn't yet another fabrication, or even worse Munchausen by proxy syndrome. But I'm just so incredibly angry.
So, Joanie... fuck you. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself for so many reasons. You are perpetuating the perpetuation of "the girl who cried rape". And for that FUCK YOU. Your story only gives credit to the weak minded people who don't believe that ONE IN FOUR college women has reported being a survivor or rape of attempted rape since their 14th birthday. Your bullshit undermines every sexual assault, and completely reinforces the ass backwards thinking of an entire country that doesn't do near enough for it's victims and contributes to the reason why 60% of rapes go unreported. Seeing as you aren't actually a victim, you have no idea what it is like to try and tell someone what happened to you only to have someone try and cover it up or tell you that you made it up or make you feel ashamed for what you wore, what you drank, how you acted, who you hung out with, who you slept with before or where you went.
You're almost just as guilty as the fucking rapists. You might not be there ignoring pleas to stop. You might not be there taking advantage of someone who is so inebriated they don't know where they are. You might not be a sick bystander who takes pictures and posts them online instead of helping someone as their being victimized. You might not know the victims or have anything to do with what actually happens to them, including the cover-ups and the victim blaming. But... you come up. You're a part of it every fucking time someone says "Girls lie. They can say whatever they want". You're a part of Steubenville, you're a part of the Maryland Rape case involving Daisy Coleman, and you're a part of Jada's Sexual Assault case.
Think about that. Think about what happened to those girls. And part of the reason they weren't taken seriously, didn't get help from police and authorities, were mocked and degraded and embarrassed and humiliated online by millions of commenters... is because of fucking bitches like you.
I'm sure someone out there thinks I'm being cruel in light of your situation. I think you're not just undermining sexual assault victims, you're disrespecting every parent dealing with a sick child who gives up everything to be with them, who stays up late in hospital rooms listening to labored breathing, who hugs their child before surgery not knowing if it is the last time they'll see them alive, who watches their pre-teen struggle with incontinence, who holds their child in bed praying for one more night or for peace or for their health, who knows their son will never drive or play football, who carries their teenager into the shower, who struggles to pay bills and yet still finds a way to cope, finds a way to deal with the pain of that without resorting to accusing an innocent man of rape. The reason children's hospitals exist is because there are so many sick children... have you ever looked around you at the people who are somehow finding a way to cope without resorting to attempting to ruin another person's life? While I don't know your exact situation and I don't know what that feels like, I know there are so many parents in worse situations... and yet somehow those people are still trying to find a way to be good people, to be examples for their child and for their other children, striving to be good people and embrace blessings and be blessings to others through their pain and not inflicting more pain on others.
You should be ashamed of yourself. I have so much more I want to say. I want to scream. I want to call you names. I want to tell you exactly what I think of you. I want to tell you, most of all, that you make me feel ashamed... if only because of the fact that we have something in common: our genitals.
- Ash
Friday, July 11, 2014
I was the douche this time. I'll admit it. And maybe Mike is just... I don't know, shy or something. But honestly... I'm so tired of being conversationally cockblocked by these guys and I've decided I'm just going to say so. I hate having my time wasted... if you don't want to talk, don't message me.
Mike never responded. That's ok. We wouldn't have had anything to talk about anyway.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Oh Manny.... what the hell? If the text speak didn't turn me off, the Tony the Tiger "gr888" did. You're not coming anywhere near my Frosted Flakes anytime soon.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I don't even know where to start. Like... I'm literally speechless. I guess I should start by telling you that the first message was sent to me at 12:54 and the second was sent at 6:42 IN THE MORNING. I guess I should start by sharing a little knowledge I've learned since beginning this adventure with Jenniy...
Nothing good happens online after midnight.
Seriously. It's become apparent to me that the worst messages I've gotten have come after midnight. And by worst I mean most explicit as well as offensive to those of us who actually write and speak English. What the hell does this guy have against punctuation? I've read this message more times than I care to admit, and part of it is because I read it once, then read it again to decipher it into sentences.
I don't know why he feels it is ok to ask me why I'm really single. Does anyone know why they're really single? Is that a legitimate question I am supposed to know the answer to? How should I answer that... with a string of complaints about my ex and why we broke up? Should I just pour out my insecurities as to why I think someone wouldn't be interested in me? I just have no idea exactly how someone is supposed to respond to that.
Then, when I don't respond to him (you know, because I'm sleeping) I get this message "So let me guess your picky rite". Is that a statement or a question, Kerri? But here's what I REALLY want to know... what are you really trying to say?
I didn't answer because I was sleeping... like normal people who don't work third shift usually do at 1 a.m. What does that have to do with me being picky? Kerri's response, when he didn't get an immediate reply from me, only tells me that he has some issues with perceived rejection (super scary and unhealthy) and that he doesn't have what it takes to impress or be with a woman who is "picky" because a man who does doesn't need to resort to such pathetic tactics to get a woman to respond. While I'm sure it was intended as some kind of implication that I shouldn't be picky, it mostly just comes off as being a very bold statement that says having a type, having standards, and preferences is a personal insult to him and more than likely because he already knows he can't meet the bar.
And the truth is, I wanted to argue with him and be like, "No, I'm not picky!" and then I realized... WHY THE HELL SHOULDN'T I BE PICKY? And why wouldn't I WANT to be and have people know that about me? The truth is that in the past I have given people a chance instead of being picky and why should I? I deserve to have and be with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm settling. I shouldn't have to date someone or talk to someone to avoid being HARASSED or called a bitch. I should be able to not respond or tell someone I'm not interested if I'm not without it being implied that something is wrong with me for having standards. This right here is the entire reason there is such an entitlement problem in this country that leads to men like Elliot Rodger to kill women.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
I DO NOT HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AND IF IT IS BECAUSE I'M BEING PICKY... SO FUCKING WHAT? I CAN BE PICKY IF I WANT...YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY TIME, MY CONVERSATION, MY BODY OR ANYTHING ELSE.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
POWER TO THE PICKY PEOPLE!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Dean's first, and only, message. Gee... thanks Dean. I guess I looked cute and in need of that kind of validation. I'm glad you think so.
NO CUTE FOR YOU!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Hocus Pocus, starring Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy as a family of witches known as the Sanderson Sisters, came out when I was 7. This, of course, was a pretty big deal in our neighborhood as I was kind of a redhead, my sister was a brunette, and our best friend who lived two houses down the block was a blond. We spent a lot of time pretending we were the three witches "hunting children"; Which, in reality, was the three of us arm in arm going up and down the sidewalk and grunting. I can only imagine what the neighbors who didn't know us must have thought.
Bette Midler was INCREDIBLE and I fell in love with her in this film from her crazy red hair to her exaggerated buck teeth. But... and it's a big BUT, that doesn't mean I want to be told I look like her in this example. I mean, she had some pretty amazing moments but I'm just not feeling it. Which brings me to this guy...
Poor "Bored". If he only knew. The truth is that sometimes I DO look like Bette Midler from Hocus Pocus, like early in the morning....
But goddamn, if anyone were to actually come to me and tell me that I look exactly like Winifred Sanderson in the morning, I'd probably place them in captivity until I sucked the youth out of enough children to make me young and beautiful again and then make them my slaves forever.
What "Captivity" looks like when you're Winifred Sanderson
"Bored" did have a redeeming quality, I guess. When I told him it was me and I wasn't sure whether that was an insult or a compliment, he told me he thought it was sexy. And I'm still not sure how to feel about it.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Yes... I have a pucker. I've been complimented on my lips before. But I've never been told they're the perfect shape. The perfect shape for what? Wait... nevermind. Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
On the upside... for once something about me is in perfect shape. I'm just going to let that be the silver lining.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I have so many problems with this.
I'm tired of "text speak", for starters. But, ok, that's fine... I'll give him a chance. But then... this. Now listen... it's a tough market out there and I can understand that. I'm not going to say that not having a job makes someone undateable, but I definitely don't think that being like "Hey, I'm unemployed" on your second message is necessarily the way to go. I guess I don't consider myself to be defined by my job (because I have a job and not a career) but that being said, I don't talk about it unless I'm asked and I don't ask about it either. Which leaves plenty of room to talk about other things like hobbies and interests, but instead this guy goes straight for the unemployment.
But let's step around the unemployed fact and just look at the situation... what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? I'm being left with no way and no content to respond to. I mean, "Gee...that sucks" feels inadequate but at the same time I don't feel like I'm supposed to be the person to step up and say more like "I'm sorry to hear that" because the truth is... I'M NOT SORRY TO HEAR THAT. It sucks when ANYONE loses their job, but what am I supposed to do...commiserate with the guy when for all I know he got fired for a damn good reason?
Maybe it was for his conversational skills because even if I wanted to reply to him... he left me with no way to. What am I going to do... ignore your statement? Just bypass it and be like "So... what do you like to do for fun?"
Let that be a lesson to you out there, gentlemen. It might not be WHAT you're saying versus how you're saying it that is preventing you from getting a response.
Yet another gentleman who thinks I ought to just give him my number because he told me his name and said "ur cute". Thanks dude, I'm glad you think so but I'm not just going to hand my number over to someone I don't know, who doesn't have a photo, who has like three lines on his profile because he told me I'm cute.
Why the hell do men keep doing this? "Ur cute. Let's meet". Listen, I understand that seeing a photo doesn't really tell you anything about a person, but seriously... I think I'm worth just a little bit of conversation before I'm asked to meet up with someone I don't know.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
*Sigh* I've reached my limit. Day after day after day I keep being "approached" by these guys who don't give my anything to respond to. But this one... no, this one went for the route of the overachiever and asked me why we stopped talking when WE'VE NEVER TALKED BEFORE.
I wish I could say that was the end of it, but he just sent me a two messages... "Hi" and "What are you doing?". The fuck do you think I'm doing at one in the afternoon on a Monday?
Stop Wasting my Time.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Sometimes in life you do stupid things. I, personally, do really stupid things and this post is evidence of it.
To make a long story short... sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh at your mistakes. That is especially true when you find your Mistake's online dating profile and notice that he lied during your entire relationship about his height (exaggerating) but was honest about it on his dating profile. And honestly that is just the beginning as I could pick the entire thing apart but for the sake of time and energy I will just say...the whole profile was a piece of shit and full of half-truths.
I Am a single father who loves life. I Am very easy going person who enjoys sitting at home watching a movie over going out drinking. I live to fish and own my own boat. I am looking for someone who likes some of the same things as me so we can do something we both enjoy. I like plays and opera...a couple Ihave seen in person are Rent, Cinderella, and my favorite seen at the Cadillac Palace in Chicago IL. The Phantom of the Opera. If your a Fun woman who would like to hang out and maybe go to a movie hit me up. though I do work a lot and have my daughter every other weekend I will still make tone for fun"
While being a douche and sharing his online dating profile with friends, I made the most rookie move ever and clicked on the link while I was logged into Plenty of Fish in another tab. Anyone who uses the site knows...once you look at a profile, the user can see that you viewed them. It took him ten days to notice upon which I got this message. Which would be a shitty first message from anyone, but it's especially shitty because I'm sure he's thinking I'm interested in him again or I'm "stalking" him. And quite frankly, being the one doing the stalking, sending the abusive and harassing text messages, doing slow drive-bys in my work vehicle (because I have a job related need to be on the street and in the neighborhood) might be a nice change of pace after having been on the receiving end of such behaviors for months. But... I would never do that to another person after knowing what it is like to lay in bed and know the vehicle of someone who once sent you a video of himself holding a gun to his head because you wouldn't talk to him is on the street outside your window in the middle of the night.
The moral of the story is... don't make rookie mistakes when making fun of your exes. And be wary of everyone you meet because a seemingly decent, though incredibly poorly written, profile might be another woman's former nightmare.
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