DoucheArt

This is the first time in my entire life that someone has asked me if I would be their little... wait, what?

The worst part?  He thinks he "blew it" because of autocorrect but not because of the actual message.  Yeah, because the TYPO is what was wrong with what he said to me.  Seriously, Fuckstick?  Seriously?

Honestly, some days you think you've heard it all and it can't get worse.  But then it's like... someone finds a new twist on an old insult and it is enraging all over again, and that is how I feel about Joe and his first message.

The best part was his profile, as he is apparently "educated" and the rest basically writes itself.  This might be the dumbest profile I've ever seen.  Seriously.

Yep, that's all it said.

"Sext?"

In my profile I say, verbatim, "it seems the vast majority of the male population wishes to domesticate me or screw me. One extreme or the other with nothing in the gray area. It's frustrating." So an offer to sext isn't exactly screwing but without anything else to go on, it surely doesn't fall into the gray area I mention. And, really, that's like walking up to a woman in a bar and saying, "Can you show me your tits and then tell me how you would give me head?"

Would that work in real life? Does it actually work on the Internet?

It doesn't work for me, and honestly, I found it a bit disturbing. If someone walked up to me in person and asked if I'd describe how I'd fuck them without so much as introducing themselves, it would be a total violation. Why can't people see that saying the same shit on the Internet is STILL a violation. I'M STILL A FUCKING PERSON NO MATTER THE FACT THAT I'M SITTING IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER WHILE YOU SIT AT YOURS. Being online doesn't suddenly change the fact that you should observe the same courtesies and respect that you would pay to a person in real life. I have no doubt that this dude has little respect for women as it is, but I highly doubt he would walk up to a woman in a grocery store and say "fuck?" and expect her to smile a knowing smile, grab his hand, and head over to the men's bathroom with him... So, don't pull that shit online. Ugh. --jenniy

Somehow I don't think the "something" he mentions here has anything to do with candy... I'm most definitely sure the offer is only for *his* white cock.

Yes, he went there.

I should clarify that the person who received this message is Latina which makes it doubly offensive (to me anyway). I've received similar messages myself from people outside my race. Personally, I have never turned someone down because of their race or nationality,but what I don't do is date people who make everything about race. If you have to offer someone outside your race your *white* cock then maybe you think it's something a bit more special than it actually is. I've seen plenty of cocks in a rainbow of shades and I can say without a doubt that white skin doesn't make it extra special. I would assume that same sentiment is likely true for women of all races and ethnicities (though it's not my place to say with 100% certainty). In my own personal experience, I've chosen who I've slept with or who I've dated because of *who* they are not what color they are...

So, if this shithead really wants to get vulgar, I can dish that right back by letting him know that once his "cock" is in there, it's going to feel the same no matter what color the fucking thing is. --j

Normally, bad grammar tends to irk me. It's not that it incites rage or ire. It's just a pet peeve. If I had received this message my first thought upon reading the first part is that maybe the guy's not so bad if he warns about his faults/flaws/mistakes ahead of time. I know some very intelligent people who are shit with spelling, so it's something that can be overlooked.

But then...oh god then...

What he should have warned about in the beginning is that he's bad with respecting women and that he prowls dating sites looking for women to bust a nut to since he's watched so much porn he can't even get it up anymore unless he's watching videos of women going to the bathroom who don't know they're being filmed.

What he should have warned about is that he's a fucking douchenozzle with some serious issues. Maybe just maybe if he stopped beating off long enough and took a few basic spelling and grammar lessons, he might actually only have to warn about the perversion. At least he would have that going for him...

--jenniy

This one and many of our submissions comes from World's Worst Feminist. Check out her blog! We love her!

Between each and every single one of these messages the person who received them let the sender know that she wasn't interested or flattered by his messages at all, but as you can see, that didn't stop him.

This is an aspect of rape culture and even though we have the option to block people online (and have been told that's what we should do instead of making DoucheArt), it shouldn't come to that nor can we block street harassers, sexual assaulters, and rapists.

These messages translate to real life even if it makes you uncomfortable to admit it, even if you've never seen it or experienced it, and even if we can block people like this from sending us more than one message.

There's a problem when, in our culture, no doesn't mean no, not interested doesn't stop the messages, and people feel entitled to detail these sorts of intimate actions without consent. By the time we actually block the messenger, it's already too late. That's like telling us to file a restraining order against a masked person who flashed us in a parking lot. We've already seen (or read) and can't unsee or unread. The person has already gotten off on sending the message in the first place just like the flasher gets off on the act of flashing. And, in the case of the internet, the pervert already has your username. If he chooses (and sometimes they do...it has happened to me), he can make profile after profile so that every time you block him, he can look you up. Even if you change YOUR profile, he'll still be able to find you.

As much as we like to joke around and poke fun at the idiotic things these people say, it's a sign of a deeper problem, a problem that needs to be addressed in a major way. --jenniy

I loved this Instagram submission because I, too, suffer from having large breasts. That fact sort of becomes all that people focus on. I had one boyfriend after another when I was young that honestly only "dated" me to "get a look at those things." In fact, I often refrain from posting full body pics on dating sites because I get comments about my tits from just having my face and a bit of cleavage showing. I can't imagine how bad it would be if people got the full image.

I just want to go on record as saying that I've never gone to a man's profile and messaged him "what dick size?" even though I sometimes think I should just to prove a fucking point. I've never gone and said "nice bulge" to a complete stranger. Or "let me get a look at those balls." I've never sent a guy a message that says "bet you got a nice pair" or "whoa, baby, smother me with those things." I've never called someone a "big-balled monster." But I get those sorts of messages about my boobs fairly often.

I am a person not a set of tits.

I'm on dating site not Porn Hub.

Asking a girl's cup size is pretty fucking rude at any point in dating. She'll tell you if she wants. But, should it really matter? Is that something you need to know? I don't think so. Is a number/letter combination really going to improve or take away from the sight of them at all? Jesus christ, I really don't want to live in a world where this needs to be explained. I'm sitting here typing this out asking myself why this even needs to be said.

How do I feel about domination and submission? You really want to know, Dan? I feel that it's none of your fucking business until we've actually moved beyond first messages and into the realm of actually discussing these things.

Do people on these things even know how to flirt anymore or is this it?

--jenniy

I think the title says it all, but just to make it clear, the last thing a woman wants to picture is the literal image given by the phrasing used in this message. If someone I'd been fucking on a regular basis said this to me, I would mercilessly make fun of that person just to ensure that he or she never, ever felt the need to fuck the shit out of anything again. But, coming from a a complete stranger you really don't know if it's an expression or if that is literally what that person wants to do. Given the quality of messages I receive and that other people receive--that we feature on here--I'm pretty sure this kind of thing is *exactly* what some people are into. --jenniy

First of all, why is it "the" pussy?

In response to the first sentence, the girl who received this asked if the messenger was a gynecologist? How exactly would he "take care" of a vagina? With a speculum and some lab tests?

Also, I'm not impressed by this amateur gyno's understanding of the female sex. Though it's usually a topic of debate with most men telling women that *every* woman can squirt if she learns her body well enough, it's physiologically impossible for all of us. So right off the bat even if I wanted a quick fling with a random stranger who I felt was okay to trust despite rape and murder not to mention STI statistics, I think I'd still pass. I'd rather have someone who understands that the female orgasm has a lot to do with intellectual stimulation and not with porno-style jackhammering. --jenniy