Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Sunday, September 7, 2014

We're linking up for Sunday Confessions this week at More Than Cheese and Beer.  The prompt this week is... Regret.

One in four college women report surviving rape or attempted rape at some point in their lives.  When I first read the story of Emma Sulkowicz, the Colombia University Senior who is carrying a mattress around as part of a project titled "Mattress Performance" or "Carry that Weight" after being raped on campus and forced to attend school with her rapist...I wanted her to be our first "Diamond of the Week".

Somehow, it seems wrong though.  Nothing about the situation is wrong because of her, but it feels wrong to acknowledge someone for being brave, outspoken, and a survivor not only of rape but of a system that failed them.  

Emma Sulkowicz is a smart, incredible woman and it saddens me that her creativity and intelligence are being dedicated to making a statement and a piece about being failed by the system. 

It makes me wonder what our country and our world would be like if our brilliant and intelligent people were able to focus their talent, dedication, time, creativity and knowledge to something besides RAPE.  All over the country, the world, there are women fighting rape by educating others, by working and volunteering in outreach and crisis centers, by educating themselves to be advocates not just for themselves but for women who aren't able to do it, in courtrooms, in hospitals, in classrooms, in offices.  All that time spent fighting something that shouldn't have to be fought about anymore.  

What would the world be like if all of the women who dedicated themselves to standing up to rape didn't have to anymore and could dedicate themselves to something else?  What would they choose and how would it change things?

Emma Sulkowicz is brave.  She has shared the details of what happened to her in her room... a place that is supposed to be intimate, personal and safe.  She is walking around a campus carrying a mattress until someone does the right thing and she no longer has to attend school with the man who not only raped her but was accused of raping two other students.  

Isn't Colombia University supposed to be a big deal?  Aren't there supposed to be brilliant minds there?  What don't they see?  What don't they grasp?  

As much as I wanted this to be our first Diamond of the Week post, it is sadly and regrettably also a Douche of the Week.  Because without people like the administrative panel at Colombia that conducted the hearing into Emma Sulkowicz's case... this story wouldn't exist.

What kind of Douchebags puts "educated" people who clearly don't know anything about sexual assault, working with assault victims, or apparently body structure and function on a panel to review rape cases?  

You fail, Colombia University.  Seriously.    

I hope when all is said and done, the administration comes to find out how wrong they are for handling so many cases the way they've been handled because it is really and truly disgusting.  They should regret choosing to put people who clearly have no idea what they are doing on a panel to handle cases when they obviously know nothing about what and how things happen.  It is unbelievable.  And above all... I hope the people at Columbia who AREN'T doing the right thing eventually realize and regret forcing a young woman to have to endure and do what Emma Sulkowicz is having to do right now in order to get them to do the right thing. 







Saturday, July 12, 2014


This week an enlisted Navy sailor, Nicholas Lord, decided it would be cool if he got wasted and made comments about rape on Facebook. It didn’t end there, however. This “man” decided he would then go onto a woman’s photo, a woman wearing a Navy shirt who said she had recently enlisted, and make the following comment:

"You’ll end up pregnant real soon you fucking whore. If I could, and I knew you I’d hold you down and rape you."



We all do idiotic things when we’re drunk. I get that. But, rape is a serious matter, and as the old proverb says A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Threatening to rape someone even via social media is actually assault per the law. Under American common law, assault is defined as creating fear of imminent harm or offensive contact with a person. If she had any information on her profile regarding her location, assault charges could be and should be possible. The longer we take shit like this as less than a serious matter, the more rape culture continues to exist.

I know that people think it’s funny to joke about rape and will argue that this is the case here (an idiot drunkenly joking about rape on the Internet), but is there ever a time when making a rape joke is actually
funny to the people who live with the threat of rape all the time? I don’t think so personally, and I doubt many women find rape jokes to be incredibly funny and appropriate. Victims of rape really don’t give a shit that you think it’s funny to joke about it like it’s not one of the most horrible, vicious things a person can do to another. If the roles were reversed and women were suddenly making jokes about things that men were more often the victims of, I’m sure that men wouldn’t think they were supposed to “have a sense of humor” and get over it. Women would be the usually crazy bitches that we are when we do things that don’t mesh with the views of the men around us (or at least some of the men…yes, I know it’s #notallmen, but keep in mind that it is most definitely #yesallwomen—whether it’s all of men or not, we all still experience the same fucked up shit as women because we’re women).

What I know to be true is that any man who values women as equals, as fellow human beings....any man who understands what rape does to a person and what it means would never, ever make that kind of joke even in drunkenness (again, a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts).

Had this guy slept off the drunkenness and felt that maybe he crossed a few lines with his comments, I think I could let it slide. Not completely, mind you. He would still be a fucking douche because being drunk doesn’t give you a pass to be a complete fucking moron without consequences. The drunk guy who rapes his date doesn’t get a pass because he had a few drinks. The drunk who ends up thinking it’s a good idea to rob a store and ends up tragically shooting the cashier doesn’t get a get out of jail free card just because he’s drunk. And this guy doesn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy just because he was drunk either. But, here’s the thing…He didn’t think he crossed a few lines.

The next day, this is what he had to say:

 


So, what we have here is an entitled piece of shit who thinks it’s perfectly okay to get drunk and threaten to rape random people on the Internet. We have someone who we're supposed to hold in the highest regard because he fights for our freedoms or is willing to yet here he is hoping to rip a woman's personal freedom to shreds. Instead of truly making a sacrifice for this country, he'd rather victimize it while we're supposed to sit here thanking him for his fucking service. But, no one should care, what’s the big fucking deal anyway, get a sense of humor, right? Wrong, you arrogant fucking asshat. It’s not perfectly okay. We don’t think so and neither does the Navy who is currently investigating this issue. The public affairs officer for Naval Air Forces Pacific had this to say, “The Navy takes all allegations of sexual assault or the threat of sexual assault very seriously, so yes, we are looking into the matter. There is no place for sexual assault or even the threat of it in the Navy.” I hope this guy gets his ass booted right the fuck out and ends up with none of the benefits of an honorable discharge…
Saturday, June 28, 2014


Our Douche of the Week posts have often concerned rape in the past, and unfortunately, this week is no different. I wish there were a plethora of other subjects more prevalent than this one, but it's a conversation we keep coming back to because rape culture in our society is such a driving force that people consistently and fully promote an acceptable attitude of violence towards women and victim-blaming ultimately landing them a spot here as a Top of the Line Douchecanoes.

This week, it's 20 year old Brandon Vandenburg, a former football player at Vanderbilt college in Tennessee who was kicked off the football team last year after he and some of his fellow teammates were charged with raping an unconscious female student. This week, Vandenburg submitted a 128 page document to the court to have his case dismissed on the grounds that the female student in question had a questionable history filled with promiscuity and drinking.

In the early morning hours of June 23, 4 young football players took turns having sexual intercourse with the victim while she was passed out in Vandenburg's room. The 4 were subsequently charged with 5 counts of aggravated rape and 2 counts of sexual battery.

Mr. Vandenburg here, however, feels that no crime took place simply because the victim obviously liked to have sex and drink. It doesn't matter that the victim had no chance to say yes to being plowed by 4 men who lined up to have unprotected sex with her. She absolutely might have done so. But, the big thing here is that SHE WASN'T GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY YES OR NO. She was not given a choice to be in control of her own body because these 4 assclowns saw fit to take what they wanted. She liked football players anyway, right? She liked to drink and fuck, right? So there's no way she would have said no. Might as well fuck her and video and take pictures of it for their own benefit.

This is the entitlement aspect of rape culture.

Men feel that since a woman has had sex, she will have sex with any man who ever wants to have sex with her, and even if she is completely unable to say yes, it's fine because she would have said yes anyway.

It concerns me that this douchebag's attorneys would even file this document. Rape shield laws are in place to protect victims from having to answer any questions whatsoever about their sexual history. Because *NEWSFLASH* a woman who has had sex isn't going to have sex with every dick we can find. We're not roaming the streets after becoming sexually active unable to control ourselves and jumping on the drunken homeless man sleeping in the dumpster behind 7/11. We're not bending over on the bus and letting the guy with horrible B.O. and 2 teeth stick us from behind. Rape shield laws are in place BECAUSE SAYING YES ONCE DOES NOT MEAN GIVE MEN THE BLANKET AUTHORITY TO GIVE "IT" TO US AT ANY TIME THEY CHOOSE. We're not asking for it by saying yes. We're not incapable of saying no just because we've said yes. This girl's supposed "promiscuity" does not at all diminish the fact that she passed out in a dorm room and was then violated by 4 different "men" who thought it would be great to treat her like a human blow-up doll.

Who the fuck can possibly defend their own actions when they're actions clearly show that each one of them took turns having sex with an unconscious girl? A douche, that's who.

I had a debate not long ago with someone who said that we need to keep fighting to keep girls from drinking too much and making themselves vulnerable to these kinds of attacks, but the fact of the matter is that whether she had too much to drink or not doesn't diminish the fact that cultural attitudes ensured that these men would take advantage of the opportunity. Every woman in this country could absolutely refuse to drink for the rest of their lives and we'd still be raped. We'd still be victims. Had she not been drunk, the chances that she would have been overpowered and raped by 4 guys who thought she owed it to them (obviously) to fuck them all are pretty fucking high. The drink just made their job easier....it didn't suddenly turn them into rapists. The mentality was already there.

What needs to happen is for this asshole to be laughed out of court with this idiotic motion to dismiss, and each one of them needs to spend a lengthy time in prison. The statistics show that 97% of rapists never spend any time in jail and that just speaks to the cultural influence at work. That needs to change and idiots like this need to be the example. When the mentality that men are entitled to give women what they're asking for is changed with imposed prison sentences, when rapists aren't given carte blanche to repeatedly force themselves on women to the complete acceptance of the system and society, we'll see less of this kind of crime. --jenniy
Saturday, June 14, 2014





We almost had to name ourselves Douche of the Week again. After stating "if I never hear another Climax joke, it would be too soon" while sharing an earlier post from this week on my personal Facebook page, Ash and I proceeded, in fact, to make several more Climax jokes. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, though, there was a much more obvious choice.

Thanks, George Will, for taking the heat for us.

If you’re not the keen follower of rape culture news that I am, you may have missed the uproar about George Will’s column in the Washington Times this past week. If you didn’t catch it, here’s a recap: Good old George feels that the current examination by the White House of Title IX complaints of more than 50 campuses across the nation is unwarranted and a waste of time. The law itself encompasses equal treatment of the sexes on college campuses and specifically requires schools to thoroughly investigate rape and sexual assault claims. The schools under investigation have had complaints filed regarding the school’s handling (or often lack thereof) of sexual assault cases. George also feels that this epidemic of “sexual assault” (yes, he actually used condescending little quotation marks) is making real education impossible and is giving “victims” some sort of privileged status that comes with benefits and social recognition. It conveys that being a victim is something to be coveted, he says. It creates an environment where victims proliferate and the accused are the true victims as campuses cater to the mixture of “hormones, alcohol and the faux sophistication of today’s prolonged adolescence of especially privileged young adults” without regard for academia or due process.

The first thing to note here is that George Will has obviously never been raped. Anyone who had gone through the nightmares, the panic triggers, the crying, the shame, the unexplainable guilt, the loss of friends, the loss of happiness, the turmoil, the pain, and the suffering that comes from being sexually assaulted would never, ever be able to minimize what victims go through the way this asshat did. It’s not a fucking cakewalk. It isn’t as simple as getting drunk, banging, and the regretting it. When a woman says NO, she motherfucking means NO. When that isn’t respected and a man takes what he wants anyway even if she has said YES a thousand fucking times before, it is still rape. It is still a violation. And, yes oh yes she is still a victim.

There most certainly IS an epidemic of sexual assault across this entire country especially on college campuses but it has nothing to do with any benefits rape victims receive. It is most certainly because old, privileged white men like George Will—the people with truly coveted and benefited status--have no respect for women. They have no idea what it means to be afraid—to fear that every man you go on a date with will use force to get what he wants or worse. He has no idea what it’s like to be slapped in the face by rape scene after rape scene in movies, television, and books for entertainment value. And, he apparently has no idea that more times than not sexual assault is completely ignored or the victim is outright shamed for her behavior making it impossible to actually gain any of these fucking privileges he speaks of. Coveted status? If coveted means lower than dog shit on the dean's shoes, then oh yes, victim status is coveted. Men like him are the reason that rape culture in this country prevails because they deny. They deny the effects of rape, the culture of rape, and the very existence of rape. It doesn’t affect them personally at the end of the day (unless they happen to know someone who IS raped and even then, it’s not one of their own orifices) so why get all worked up over it?

As long as we have people who blame sexual assault on what a woman wears, where she was, what she had to drink, and whether or not she loved to have sex, we’re never going to see any changes in this very real epidemic. The blame is not on victims. It’s on the rapists—the people who feel entitled to take what they want from another person. We live in a culture where the shame and guilt are placed on the victim, where the victim has to answer for her actions and not the other way around. The guilt certainly should reside with rapists, but right there with them are their partners in crime--men like George Will who perpetuate this culture of violence through sheer, unadulterated, privileged fucking ignorance.
I'd say that the only way George Will will ever understand the experience of rape and what it puts you through...how it kills a part of you...is to be a victim himself, but having gone through that at 13 without a single fucking benefit to show for it, I wouldn't wish it on the biggest of douches--even him.
Saturday, May 17, 2014


There’s nothing funny about a rape joke.

No, seriously.

There is absolutely no comedic value in making a mockery of a crime in which one or more persons completely and violently invades someone’s body without permission by body part or object. There is nothing funny about overpowering someone and taking what you want. There’s nothing funny about someone having that done to them either. In fact, the way we treat this crime globally by making a mockery of it is part of the reason it’s not handled as seriously as it should be.

Not taking this seriously contributes to rape culture here and abroad. It continues to ensure that the vast majority of rape victims are too ashamed to report the crime to police, men and women alike. It ensures that when a victim does make a report, he or she is the butt of the joke and no real investigation ever happens. And, it ensures, unfortunately, that most rapists never spend time in prison. In fact, the estimates here in the United States are that 97% of rapists never spend even a day behind bars and are free to rape over and over and over again.

Just to be clear—they do. It’s not a one time thing for most of them. In most studies, people who admit to forcing themselves on a partner or date or another person do so more than once. More than twice. Repeatedly. They leave multitudes of victims in their wakes and continue to escape punishment.

That is why the Douche of the Week is none other than Miley Cyrus.



At a show in London this week, she told concert goers, “everyone’s a little gay. all it takes is one cocktail. And if that doesn’t work, sprinkle something in their drink. That’s what I always do.”

It’s not cool or sexy to talk about raping someone and to trivialize the traumatic events that rape victims have gone through. And without a doubt what she is talking about is 100% rape.

Miley, it wasn’t funny when Tosh.0 did it and he’s a fucking comedian (or so he thinks). It’s certainly not funny or acceptable when a fuckwit, spoiled brat gets on stage and encourages hundreds of people to rape.

I don’t think you can possibly get any douchier without actually being a serial rapist.

Fucking idiot.
Friday, May 9, 2014



As a rape victim myself, I could not help myself on this one. Here we have a man, a preacher named Dean, who is telling women that rape is God's way of punishing them for being "whores." He wears a T-shirt with a pointing finger that reads "you whore" and states he expects this kind of shirt to make people change their ways. He believes rapists should be forgiven, that women are always asking for it, and that feminism is evil. He also thinks, of course, that women should not be allowed to attend college. Go fucking figure. Dean honestly believes that being devout and dressing "appropriately" will save you from rape and if you don't do these things, you did something yourself to deserve the

"Give up your immodest clothing" he shouts into a bullhorn without ever pausing to think that if women wore burkas we would still be and are raped. If women wore sacks, we would be raped. If we never left our homes, there is still a chance that we would be raped. Rape is not the responsibility of women. It's not what we do or say or how we act that is the problem. The problem comes from men who cannot accept that a woman might not want their hot beef injection. It comes when we normalize bullshit like Blurred Lines that tells people "no" might really mean "yes." The problem is that assholes like this who cannot get laid think it's a good idea to go out and lay the blame where it doesn't belong. It comes from a normalized script of violence against women in the media, from the privileged position of men, and from no one, including this guy, realizing that RAPE HAPPENS BECAUSE OF RAPISTS and that is where the blame belongs.

Instead of telling women to cover up, tell people not to rape. If you want to take the godly approach, tell rapists they'll burn in hell and forever be raped by a fire-dicked demon.

Yoga pants are a sin, he says. Fuck that. Being a douche is the sin.
Saturday, May 3, 2014


If you don't recognize the goofy face above, you should start getting familiar with it because something tells me this man is the next Michael Vick.  And please...don't start in on how Michael Vick paid his debt to society because I don't want to hear it.  He's a douche too.

The man pictured above is Florida State University and Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston, a man with lots of potential to be a big star and, as he showed this week and in the not-so-distant past, a huge douche.

On Tuesday of this past week, the Douche was caught shoplifting $32.72 worth of crab leg and crawfish from a Publix store.  There is so much douche here I feel like I'm drowning in it.

In December of 2012, Winston was accused a rape by another FSU student.  A proper investigation has never been made into the matter, though the case was closed two months after due to "lack of cooperation" by the accuser.  In July of 2013, he was cited for stealing soda from a Burger King, and now these latest charges.  FSU appears to have done a pretty decent and utterly shameful job of keeping him out of trouble for the rape allegations only to have to find a mediocre punishment for him as a result of his shoplifting.

FSU has suspended their star Quarterback from the BASEBALL TEAM.  Yup.  The baseball team.

So many thoughts here.  I'm not even going to acknowledge the rape case further because I don't have to...anyone who reads the information can see it: Winston is a douche.  His friends are douches.  FSU is full of douches and the Tampa Police Department is full of douches.  But the thing is...Winston has walked away from serious allegations only to go on and exhibit this kind of juvenile behavior and blame it on "youthful ignorance".

Mr. Winston... I can only assumed you are at FSU because they're paying for your education in exchange for your talent on the field.  FSU is clearly not doing you any favors by paying for your education because clearly you're not getting any smarter.  Not only did you walk away from some serious allegations and possibly an activity that ruined a young woman's chance at making something of herself at college, not to mention ruining her life, but you then flaunt your invincibility by doing something so juvenile as shoplifting.  Do you know who shoplifts?  Teenage girls.  You've been given an opportunity of a lifetime...and you choose to be a douche and a crappy human being.  You're scum and you're trash.  And I say that as someone who believes you are a rapist and a thief.

While stealing some crab legs might not be the same as ruining a life, it is just further proof to me that you are not worth the investment being put into you by FSU.  You deserve nothing.  You were given an amazing opportunity, and instead you choose to be a creep and a rapist who gets off on acting like a punk kid, and then shrugs his shoulders and gives a real bitch-ass excuse for being a steaming pile of excrement.

Read for Yourself:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaaf/2014/04/30/analysis-florida-state-fsu-quarterback-jameis-winston-crab-legs-shoplifting-citation/8526501/
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/04/16/jameis_winston_rape_investigation_the_new_york_times_reveals_just_how_badly.html

-- Hot Ash
Saturday, April 26, 2014
This is our first edition of Douche of the Week. Each Monday from now on we'll be asking for your votes on who qualifies as the douchiest. We'll take those votes and submissions until Friday when we announce our winner. There are a few rules to guide you in selecting your vote. It can't be a personal story and must be someone you've seen in the news or seen articles about. You have to also link to a story that proves your point.

Since we're a new page, we've taken the liberty of choosing our first Douche of the Week on our own just to give you a feel for what we're looking for with submissions/votes.



This week's winner is the major whiner David Choe. Choe was a graffiti artist who was paid millions by Facebook to paint their walls at headquarters and ultimately whined about the loss of privacy (instead of being grateful for the opportunity). While that certainly makes him a bit of a doucher, it's the headlines he appeared in this week that qualify him for our very first douche of the week.

"She said yes with her eyes" was his justification for forcing oral sex on a masseuse. He co-hosts a sex-talk podcast with a porn star and during one of these podcasts last month, he recounted details of how during a massage he began jerking off then physically forced the masseuse to go down on him despite her adamant nos. When public backlash ensued following the podcast, he began whining this week that it wasn't fair he is being painted as a rapist and is now claiming that the story wasn't true. That he told it for entertainment value.

Let me be perfectly fucking clear, David, RAPE IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT. There is no artistic value in going on a podcast and detailing a sexual assault. I highly suspect that it was a true story, and that since people have actually called you out on your disgusting, unlawful behavior, you are now trying to cover your ass. I imagine, quite frankly, that you only did so out of fear that you would lose money and never get your knob polished again. And that's what makes you an even bigger douche--you're only sorry for yourself. Never once have you apologized for your crude, perhaps completely illegal and horrific, behavior. You're scum. You're scum for doing it, for telling the story thinking it would make you look like some kind of badass, and especially for whining about the unwanted effects of your little tale.

Here are a couple of links to check out the story in case you missed it, but there is definitely a trigger warning associated with the second one.

http://guardianlv.com/2014/04/facebook-artist-in-trouble-after-recent-podcast/

http://gawker.com/successful-street-artist-talks-about-how-he-maybe-raped-1564734308