DoucheArt

Sometimes, DoucheArt comes from unexpected places.  I'm on Ask.FM and rarely get questions.  But sometimes I like to answer the Question of the Day.  This is what happened last week:


I thought I was being funny.  I mean... yeah, I kind of opened the door for this kind of response, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would result in someone I presumably don't know asking me to pleasure them.  You would think I would know better by now.  You. Would. Think.

But... if it gets old fast, why the hell would you think that I would want to do it?  I'm still confused as to whether or not it was a serious offer, or they were just trying to give me material.  Either way, thanks I guess. - Ash

Sure, it's not creepy to all to know that you were looking up women in an area that you are just passing through to randomly hookup with. That's not creepy at all... I totally feel safe in the comfort of a stranger looking to get a piece of ass in a small, sleepy town he's just passing through on his way to possibly bleach her bones and turn them into artwork and sell her organs on the black market... Okay, maybe it's not really that bad, but who in the hell feels comfortable talking to a person not and then giving them an address to meet up and fuck later? Since when is this even attractive? Am I the only person left on the face of the planet that likes to actually be just as turned on by who a person is and not just the fact that they have a functional dick?

Also, I have to point this out. In the message-me-if portion of my profile on OkCupid, I say "if you know the difference between "your" and you're..." So, his message actually read "I'm driving through "your" area this afternoon, and since "you're" smoking hott, I though I'd see if you want to have a random hookup?"

So, he felt the need to point out his basic concept of grammar while also failing to realize that hot only has one "t" and he should have said *thought instead of "though." Good going there, buddy. If you use condoms like you use grammar, you're a walking infestation. --jenniy

Another creepy guy named Mike who fooled me with seemingly normal conversation for about 5 messages.  This really wasn't too bad, it was pretty mild actually.  It was when I kept talking to him that I started to get creeped out.  Mike is into trampling...information which he volunteered out of the blue.  Then he wants to meet up and instead of being 9 hours away like his profile says, he's really only 3 hours away and kept insisting that is what is profile said.  You know... because I can't read or something.  And that is when I stopped talking to him.    I should have stopped right away but...sometimes I like to give people rope and see what they do with it.