DoucheArt

"I expect nothing in return."

That's really the thing that gets me about this one. I mean, sure, this is a pretty douchey message overall, but it's that one line that really pisses me off.

First, this girl has to deal with this message. Second, she has to actually meet up with this guy who is only interested in her because she has what he perceives to be a "beautiful rack." He obviously doesn't see her as a person with labels such as "rack." She's an object. A tit holder. Third, she has to strip down once she does meet this guy and let him latch onto one of her most intimate areas in a way that is likely going to be wholly creepy.

Nothing the fuck in return?

Dude, you're getting ALL THE BENEFITS.

All.

The.

Benefits.

She gets nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. This has absolutely nothing to do about her and what she wants.

So that one sentence "I expect nothing in return" is just a slap in the face in an otherwise mundane message, and it makes me want to track this guy down and beat him with a dildo. --jenniy

Sure, it's not creepy to all to know that you were looking up women in an area that you are just passing through to randomly hookup with. That's not creepy at all... I totally feel safe in the comfort of a stranger looking to get a piece of ass in a small, sleepy town he's just passing through on his way to possibly bleach her bones and turn them into artwork and sell her organs on the black market... Okay, maybe it's not really that bad, but who in the hell feels comfortable talking to a person not and then giving them an address to meet up and fuck later? Since when is this even attractive? Am I the only person left on the face of the planet that likes to actually be just as turned on by who a person is and not just the fact that they have a functional dick?

Also, I have to point this out. In the message-me-if portion of my profile on OkCupid, I say "if you know the difference between "your" and you're..." So, his message actually read "I'm driving through "your" area this afternoon, and since "you're" smoking hott, I though I'd see if you want to have a random hookup?"

So, he felt the need to point out his basic concept of grammar while also failing to realize that hot only has one "t" and he should have said *thought instead of "though." Good going there, buddy. If you use condoms like you use grammar, you're a walking infestation. --jenniy