Saturday, July 12, 2014
This week an enlisted Navy sailor, Nicholas Lord, decided it would be cool if he got wasted and made comments about rape on Facebook. It didn’t end there, however. This “man” decided he would then go onto a woman’s photo, a woman wearing a Navy shirt who said she had recently enlisted, and make the following comment:
"You’ll end up pregnant real soon you fucking whore. If I could, and I knew you I’d hold you down and rape you."
We all do idiotic things when we’re drunk. I get that. But, rape is a serious matter, and as the old proverb says A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Threatening to rape someone even via social media is actually assault per the law. Under American common law, assault is defined as creating fear of imminent harm or offensive contact with a person. If she had any information on her profile regarding her location, assault charges could be and should be possible. The longer we take shit like this as less than a serious matter, the more rape culture continues to exist.
I know that people think it’s funny to joke about rape and will argue that this is the case here (an idiot drunkenly joking about rape on the Internet), but is there ever a time when making a rape joke is actually
What I know to be true is that any man who values women as equals, as fellow human beings....any man who understands what rape does to a person and what it means would never, ever make that kind of joke even in drunkenness (again, a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts).
Had this guy slept off the drunkenness and felt that maybe he crossed a few lines with his comments, I think I could let it slide. Not completely, mind you. He would still be a fucking douche because being drunk doesn’t give you a pass to be a complete fucking moron without consequences. The drunk guy who rapes his date doesn’t get a pass because he had a few drinks. The drunk who ends up thinking it’s a good idea to rob a store and ends up tragically shooting the cashier doesn’t get a get out of jail free card just because he’s drunk. And this guy doesn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy just because he was drunk either. But, here’s the thing…He didn’t think he crossed a few lines.
The next day, this is what he had to say:
So, what we have here is an entitled piece of shit who thinks it’s perfectly okay to get drunk and threaten to rape random people on the Internet. We have someone who we're supposed to hold in the highest regard because he fights for our freedoms or is willing to yet here he is hoping to rip a woman's personal freedom to shreds. Instead of truly making a sacrifice for this country, he'd rather victimize it while we're supposed to sit here thanking him for his fucking service. But, no one should care, what’s the big fucking deal anyway, get a sense of humor, right? Wrong, you arrogant fucking asshat. It’s not perfectly okay. We don’t think so and neither does the Navy who is currently investigating this issue. The public affairs officer for Naval Air Forces Pacific had this to say, “The Navy takes all allegations of sexual assault or the threat of sexual assault very seriously, so yes, we are looking into the matter. There is no place for sexual assault or even the threat of it in the Navy.” I hope this guy gets his ass booted right the fuck out and ends up with none of the benefits of an honorable discharge…
Had this guy slept off the drunkenness and felt that maybe he crossed a few lines with his comments, I think I could let it slide. Not completely, mind you. He would still be a fucking douche because being drunk doesn’t give you a pass to be a complete fucking moron without consequences. The drunk guy who rapes his date doesn’t get a pass because he had a few drinks. The drunk who ends up thinking it’s a good idea to rob a store and ends up tragically shooting the cashier doesn’t get a get out of jail free card just because he’s drunk. And this guy doesn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy just because he was drunk either. But, here’s the thing…He didn’t think he crossed a few lines.
The next day, this is what he had to say:
So, what we have here is an entitled piece of shit who thinks it’s perfectly okay to get drunk and threaten to rape random people on the Internet. We have someone who we're supposed to hold in the highest regard because he fights for our freedoms or is willing to yet here he is hoping to rip a woman's personal freedom to shreds. Instead of truly making a sacrifice for this country, he'd rather victimize it while we're supposed to sit here thanking him for his fucking service. But, no one should care, what’s the big fucking deal anyway, get a sense of humor, right? Wrong, you arrogant fucking asshat. It’s not perfectly okay. We don’t think so and neither does the Navy who is currently investigating this issue. The public affairs officer for Naval Air Forces Pacific had this to say, “The Navy takes all allegations of sexual assault or the threat of sexual assault very seriously, so yes, we are looking into the matter. There is no place for sexual assault or even the threat of it in the Navy.” I hope this guy gets his ass booted right the fuck out and ends up with none of the benefits of an honorable discharge…
Friday, July 11, 2014
I was the douche this time. I'll admit it. And maybe Mike is just... I don't know, shy or something. But honestly... I'm so tired of being conversationally cockblocked by these guys and I've decided I'm just going to say so. I hate having my time wasted... if you don't want to talk, don't message me.
Mike never responded. That's ok. We wouldn't have had anything to talk about anyway.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
This is so casual. No preface. No gradual progression trying to figure out what the person who received this message really wanted or needed that day. Just boom...want some cum? That was it.
Since doing this (DoucheArt), I have become certain that there are far too many men out there who think women never derive any pleasure from sex and that we are here on Earth as cum receptacles. That's it for us in the minds of these fellows. We don't want or have or need orgasms. It's like we don't enjoy or want the act of sex at all whatsoever which is about as far from the actual fucking truth as it gets. Even when we're offered something that seems like it should be foreplay or for our enjoyment, it's really just because the offer is made by someone based on his own enjoyment of the act. All the "hey let me eat that pussy" messages aren't about our needs; they're about the fact that the man sending the message loves performing cunnilingus. That's all find and good, but sex is a two-way street. It should never be *just* about what one person enjoys. It should never be this one-sided.
People always say that sex means more when you love the person. I don't know if it's about the love as much as it's about the fact that it means two people who respect and care for one another are actually enjoying the moment WITH each other and not just because of each other. There's where the difference lies... When those elements are involved, both partners are as concerned about the enjoyment of each other as they are themselves.
So, you can keep attempting to jizz on our glasses or drown us in your wads all you fucking want to, but you're just going to end up jerking off into a sad little kleenex because all you care about is getting yours and you make that pretty fucking clear. --jenniy
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
I think the title says it all, but just to make it clear, the last thing a woman wants to picture is the literal image given by the phrasing used in this message. If someone I'd been fucking on a regular basis said this to me, I would mercilessly make fun of that person just to ensure that he or she never, ever felt the need to fuck the shit out of anything again. But, coming from a a complete stranger you really don't know if it's an expression or if that is literally what that person wants to do. Given the quality of messages I receive and that other people receive--that we feature on here--I'm pretty sure this kind of thing is *exactly* what some people are into. --jenniy
Oh Manny.... what the hell? If the text speak didn't turn me off, the Tony the Tiger "gr888" did. You're not coming anywhere near my Frosted Flakes anytime soon.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I wish I could say that this was some sort of sick joke, but it wasn't. This Instagram submission is probably one of the most vile things I've come across since we've been doing this, and that's saying a lot. Let me clarify something.
A DATING SITE IS NOT PORN HUB.
It's just not. The women on a DATING site aren't there for you to throw your fucking money at and steamroll with all the twisted things you'd like to do with your dick while in their presence.
No one is asking for this. If, and this is a huge if, this girl's profile said that she was *only* looking for casual sex, the sex stuff might be understandable, but at the end of the day, these jerks aren't even giving her a chance to be interested in what they look like naked before she's drowning in their cum. These guys are Don Jon's whacking it off 17 times a day who have no idea what to do with an actual woman. If you notice...the first thing he really offers her after the money is to jerk off on her genitalia... That says a lot.
Read some about pornography and how the actual process involved is nothing like what you see on your computer screen. Actual sex, real sex isn't about offering some stranger $250 on the Internet to jerk off on her or watch her like she's some sort of live porno. Fucking jerks.
--jenniy
I don't even know where to start. Like... I'm literally speechless. I guess I should start by telling you that the first message was sent to me at 12:54 and the second was sent at 6:42 IN THE MORNING. I guess I should start by sharing a little knowledge I've learned since beginning this adventure with Jenniy...
Nothing good happens online after midnight.
Seriously. It's become apparent to me that the worst messages I've gotten have come after midnight. And by worst I mean most explicit as well as offensive to those of us who actually write and speak English. What the hell does this guy have against punctuation? I've read this message more times than I care to admit, and part of it is because I read it once, then read it again to decipher it into sentences.
I don't know why he feels it is ok to ask me why I'm really single. Does anyone know why they're really single? Is that a legitimate question I am supposed to know the answer to? How should I answer that... with a string of complaints about my ex and why we broke up? Should I just pour out my insecurities as to why I think someone wouldn't be interested in me? I just have no idea exactly how someone is supposed to respond to that.
Then, when I don't respond to him (you know, because I'm sleeping) I get this message "So let me guess your picky rite". Is that a statement or a question, Kerri? But here's what I REALLY want to know... what are you really trying to say?
I didn't answer because I was sleeping... like normal people who don't work third shift usually do at 1 a.m. What does that have to do with me being picky? Kerri's response, when he didn't get an immediate reply from me, only tells me that he has some issues with perceived rejection (super scary and unhealthy) and that he doesn't have what it takes to impress or be with a woman who is "picky" because a man who does doesn't need to resort to such pathetic tactics to get a woman to respond. While I'm sure it was intended as some kind of implication that I shouldn't be picky, it mostly just comes off as being a very bold statement that says having a type, having standards, and preferences is a personal insult to him and more than likely because he already knows he can't meet the bar.
And the truth is, I wanted to argue with him and be like, "No, I'm not picky!" and then I realized... WHY THE HELL SHOULDN'T I BE PICKY? And why wouldn't I WANT to be and have people know that about me? The truth is that in the past I have given people a chance instead of being picky and why should I? I deserve to have and be with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm settling. I shouldn't have to date someone or talk to someone to avoid being HARASSED or called a bitch. I should be able to not respond or tell someone I'm not interested if I'm not without it being implied that something is wrong with me for having standards. This right here is the entire reason there is such an entitlement problem in this country that leads to men like Elliot Rodger to kill women.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
I DO NOT HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AND IF IT IS BECAUSE I'M BEING PICKY... SO FUCKING WHAT? I CAN BE PICKY IF I WANT...YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY TIME, MY CONVERSATION, MY BODY OR ANYTHING ELSE.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
POWER TO THE PICKY PEOPLE!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Quite often, victims of street harrassment are told to smile. It's this whole idea that women are put on the Earth to be pleasing to the eye. Now, before you argue, just consider it. Without knowing why we may be down or angry at the time, without knowing us at all, a perfect stranger feels the need to walk up to us and tell us to smile...smile so you will be more pleasing for me to look at; I bet you have a pretty smile. Do you see random men running up to homeless people to do so? Do you see men go into a mental hospital telling people to smile or walk down the corridors of a hospital feeling the need to tell people to smile? At a funeral? After a tragedy? You can't possibly know what is going on in someone's life at any point in time yet women are constantly told to smile. The end point is that we aren't here to be pleasing to the eye. We have complex lives that come with baggage and problems and issues just like any other person's. When we have a reason to smile, damnit, we will.
I had a friend on Facebook relate a story just the other day of a man BLOCKING her entrance to a store telling her to smile. He actually felt the need to block her path while she entered a store to tell her to smile...a man, a strange man she had never met. That's fucking frightening in public or not especially after he resorted to name-calling when she wasn't thrilled with having to deal with this kind of bullshit.
And when we do smile, we get messages like this one. Great. --jenniy
Dean's first, and only, message. Gee... thanks Dean. I guess I looked cute and in need of that kind of validation. I'm glad you think so.
NO CUTE FOR YOU!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Is this supposed to be some sort of insult? It seems like it. I can only assume that this message is a result of
A) my glasses
B) the fact that I mention knowing how to read and enjoy books
C) I write. For fun. And talk about it. Emphatically.
D) My profile doesn't have any $10 words (for a reason), but everything is spelled and punctuated correctly. That means no abbreviated text/Twitter speak.
I might expect this sort of question from 18-22 year olds, but a 44 year old man thinks I'm a nerd because I read, write, and know how to spell?!?
This. This is a big part of what's wrong with our society right now. When did being vapid become so chic? Not to mention the fact that being a fucking bully and *attempting* to insult someone in a first message is probably douchier than offering to show them your dick.
My response: You say that like it's a bad thing.
--jenniy
Hocus Pocus, starring Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy as a family of witches known as the Sanderson Sisters, came out when I was 7. This, of course, was a pretty big deal in our neighborhood as I was kind of a redhead, my sister was a brunette, and our best friend who lived two houses down the block was a blond. We spent a lot of time pretending we were the three witches "hunting children"; Which, in reality, was the three of us arm in arm going up and down the sidewalk and grunting. I can only imagine what the neighbors who didn't know us must have thought.
Bette Midler was INCREDIBLE and I fell in love with her in this film from her crazy red hair to her exaggerated buck teeth. But... and it's a big BUT, that doesn't mean I want to be told I look like her in this example. I mean, she had some pretty amazing moments but I'm just not feeling it. Which brings me to this guy...
Poor "Bored". If he only knew. The truth is that sometimes I DO look like Bette Midler from Hocus Pocus, like early in the morning....
But goddamn, if anyone were to actually come to me and tell me that I look exactly like Winifred Sanderson in the morning, I'd probably place them in captivity until I sucked the youth out of enough children to make me young and beautiful again and then make them my slaves forever.
What "Captivity" looks like when you're Winifred Sanderson
"Bored" did have a redeeming quality, I guess. When I told him it was me and I wasn't sure whether that was an insult or a compliment, he told me he thought it was sexy. And I'm still not sure how to feel about it.
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