DoucheArt

Several weeks ago, we called out the NFL as DOTW for their role in mishandling domestic violence cases involving league players with Ray Rice’s punching bag session on his now wife Janay Palmer being the most recent example. In that case, Rice was originally given a 2 game suspension which we felt was far less than what was deserved especially given that other players have suffered far harsher punishments for lesser transgressions including pot use—pot, a drug which is slowly becoming legalized or decriminalized across the country. We felt this was just another example of this country’s perpetuation of a culture of violence against women. It’s far too accepted and ignored overall and our cultural mindset often lays blame on the victim instead of the perpetrator.

Since that post, the NFL rightfully felt the public pressure tightening down on the organization with demands for changes in its penal system that would treat domestic violence as the serious crime and problem that it is. In doing so, the NFL decided that on a first offense, a player would be given a 6 game suspension with a second offense earning the perpetrator an indefinite suspension. This, however, did not retroactively apply to the recently punished Rice…all hell broke loose when the elevator video of Rice’s assault of Palmer finally reached the public.

As it should have.

By now, everyone that cares has probably seen that video in all its gritty, nauseating awfulness. It’s not a pretty sight and I’m not going to link to it again here. If you haven’t seen it, feel free to do a quick search. It won’t take you long to find it. It has certainly made its rounds and forever emblazoned perhaps the worst moment of Janay Palmer’s life on history.

I don’t want to have an epic conversation about Ray Rice and Janay Palmer, though. I will say that without a doubt that Rice deserved the indefinite suspension by the NFL he received after the video was seen across the country and to be cut altogether from the Ravens. I will also say that Janay Palmer deciding to still marry Rice after the incident has no effect whatsoever on how we, as a society, should treat the perpetrators of domestic violence. It does not make one single fuck that she stayed. She has a myriad of reasons for doing so just as my mom had hers for staying with my dad despite the violence for more than 17 years. Instead of it being the victim’s responsibility to make sure society responds by braving the odds and leaving (women, statistically are far safer staying than walking away), the conversation should be about the appropriate response REGARDLESS of what the victim does and the appropriate PROACTIVE measures to take to reduce the number of domestic assault cases that are happening in this country and even around the world.

That’s why this week, I chose a diamond. I chose a diamond that actually gave me goosebumps the first time I watched the video of his little speech. Not only is it an important one to have overall and one that women are having constantly, but it comes from a MALE SPORTSCASTER who can actually have a hell of a lot of influence on this kind of conversation. When the majority, a man in this case, participates in the larger conversation, other men are more likely to notice, pay attention, and perhaps rethink previous positions.

I cannot add much to his monologue, so I’m just going to let James Brown speak for himself. Check out the video below and share that motherfucker as much and as often as you can.

I am a human being. I love to be treated with respect like a human being and not like a place to deposit your semen. I love lots of conversation and enjoyment of a person's company before they poke me with their dipstick or their toys. I also love when people realize that initial communication should come with a few fucking boundaries and that people shouldn't just let whatever the hell enters their tiny little brains spill out onto the keyboard. Not interested.

--j, 33, PoF