DoucheArt

Our Douche of the Week posts have often concerned rape in the past, and unfortunately, this week is no different. I wish there were a plethora of other subjects more prevalent than this one, but it's a conversation we keep coming back to because rape culture in our society is such a driving force that people consistently and fully promote an acceptable attitude of violence towards women and victim-blaming ultimately landing them a spot here as a Top of the Line Douchecanoes.

This week, it's 20 year old Brandon Vandenburg, a former football player at Vanderbilt college in Tennessee who was kicked off the football team last year after he and some of his fellow teammates were charged with raping an unconscious female student. This week, Vandenburg submitted a 128 page document to the court to have his case dismissed on the grounds that the female student in question had a questionable history filled with promiscuity and drinking.

In the early morning hours of June 23, 4 young football players took turns having sexual intercourse with the victim while she was passed out in Vandenburg's room. The 4 were subsequently charged with 5 counts of aggravated rape and 2 counts of sexual battery.

Mr. Vandenburg here, however, feels that no crime took place simply because the victim obviously liked to have sex and drink. It doesn't matter that the victim had no chance to say yes to being plowed by 4 men who lined up to have unprotected sex with her. She absolutely might have done so. But, the big thing here is that SHE WASN'T GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY YES OR NO. She was not given a choice to be in control of her own body because these 4 assclowns saw fit to take what they wanted. She liked football players anyway, right? She liked to drink and fuck, right? So there's no way she would have said no. Might as well fuck her and video and take pictures of it for their own benefit.

This is the entitlement aspect of rape culture.

Men feel that since a woman has had sex, she will have sex with any man who ever wants to have sex with her, and even if she is completely unable to say yes, it's fine because she would have said yes anyway.

It concerns me that this douchebag's attorneys would even file this document. Rape shield laws are in place to protect victims from having to answer any questions whatsoever about their sexual history. Because *NEWSFLASH* a woman who has had sex isn't going to have sex with every dick we can find. We're not roaming the streets after becoming sexually active unable to control ourselves and jumping on the drunken homeless man sleeping in the dumpster behind 7/11. We're not bending over on the bus and letting the guy with horrible B.O. and 2 teeth stick us from behind. Rape shield laws are in place BECAUSE SAYING YES ONCE DOES NOT MEAN GIVE MEN THE BLANKET AUTHORITY TO GIVE "IT" TO US AT ANY TIME THEY CHOOSE. We're not asking for it by saying yes. We're not incapable of saying no just because we've said yes. This girl's supposed "promiscuity" does not at all diminish the fact that she passed out in a dorm room and was then violated by 4 different "men" who thought it would be great to treat her like a human blow-up doll.

Who the fuck can possibly defend their own actions when they're actions clearly show that each one of them took turns having sex with an unconscious girl? A douche, that's who.

I had a debate not long ago with someone who said that we need to keep fighting to keep girls from drinking too much and making themselves vulnerable to these kinds of attacks, but the fact of the matter is that whether she had too much to drink or not doesn't diminish the fact that cultural attitudes ensured that these men would take advantage of the opportunity. Every woman in this country could absolutely refuse to drink for the rest of their lives and we'd still be raped. We'd still be victims. Had she not been drunk, the chances that she would have been overpowered and raped by 4 guys who thought she owed it to them (obviously) to fuck them all are pretty fucking high. The drink just made their job easier....it didn't suddenly turn them into rapists. The mentality was already there.

What needs to happen is for this asshole to be laughed out of court with this idiotic motion to dismiss, and each one of them needs to spend a lengthy time in prison. The statistics show that 97% of rapists never spend any time in jail and that just speaks to the cultural influence at work. That needs to change and idiots like this need to be the example. When the mentality that men are entitled to give women what they're asking for is changed with imposed prison sentences, when rapists aren't given carte blanche to repeatedly force themselves on women to the complete acceptance of the system and society, we'll see less of this kind of crime. --jenniy

Assumptions were made with this message. I have tattoos which show in my photos on my profile. Those tattoos have gotten me called a "bad girl," "exotic," "sensual," and even a "freak." People have these ideas, stereotypes if you will, built in their own minds about what kind of person has as many tattoos as I do (and counting). Exotic? I'm from South Georgia. My skin looks like milk, and when I'm in the sun, my freckles connect. How the fuck is that exotic? The rest are simply assumptions based on what kind of person has tattoos according to the messenger.

The same is true with this message. I have no visible piercings in my photos, and truth be told the only thing I have pierced is my ears. The assumption though is that since I have tattoos, I must also have piercings, and now he's curious about just what exactly I might have pierced.

It's not exactly an innocent first thought to have about someone. But, it wasn't just a thought. This guy decided to take it to the next level and go ahead and ask me. He may as well have just asked me what my vagina looks like, if I shave or trim or bleach my asshole, and if the carpet matches the drapes. Because what he really wants to know when it comes down to it is what I look like in my most intimate of areas so he can picture that during whatever fantasy he comes up with as he sits at his keyboard typing one handed.

If knowing what type of tampons I prefer is too intimate for you, TMI perhaps, then asking if my clit is pierced is also too intimate. You need to know one about as much as the other in a first message. --jenniy

Let's just start with the obvious on this one or at least the obvious to me. Perhaps it's not really Chinese history that is hard to learn. Perhaps since it's impossible for this guy to correctly construct one sentence, he is having a bit more trouble than the average person. In other words, his lack of intelligence makes this a very poor analogy.

If someone sent me the message, "Hi, beautiful. I'm Brian, and I just wanted you to know that you make me harder than it is to learn Chinese history," I might laugh. I likely wouldn't respond because I don't want to encourage this kind of behavior even in jest, but I would still smirk. If he followed it with someone letting me know it was a joke or letting me know anything else, I probably would respond. It's certainly more creative than the multitudes of dudes wanting to jizz on my glasses. But, upon seeing screenshots of the rest of this conversation between the girl it was sent to and Brian, it was obvious that he really meant what he said. He really wanted her to know that he made his dick hard.

Imagine you're sitting on the bus and a random man walks up to you. I don't care what gender you are or what your sexual orientation is (because the guys who send these messages really don't care about that either when it all comes down to it). Just imagine it. You're on the bus minding your own business, maybe looking around you at all the people off in their own worlds wondering what they're thinking about or what they're on the way to do. A man walks up and sits down beside you. He looks you up and down, winks, and says, "you make my dick hard."

IT'S NOT FUCKING FLATTERING.

It's creepy. There's no way to react well to that because it's just such a violation coming from a complete stranger whose erection may be of no interest to you. But, you're now guaranteed to have to picture his dick getting hard which is what he wanted in the first place. The most personal space of all-your own thoughts--has been violated by this idiot's hard-on, and he knows it.

It's the same on the Internet. Hearing about some guy's hard-on isn't really what most people are looking for in a first message. Don't be that guy. And if you've got to be that guy, spell things correctly.  --jenniy

Let me preface this by saying that I have no problem with the whole S&M thing. I dabble. I enjoy it. And, under normal circumstances, I really have no issues doling out a little punishment if the mood strikes. That may be TMI, but I just want it to be known that I didn't select this message based on the fact that this guy obviously wants or needs or would like a little humiliation. In and of itself, that isn't the problem.

The problem is that an idiot with both the words "orgasm" and "daddy" in his username whose profile is all about his kids is messaging women not to introduce himself or to say hello or to even figure out what they're into but to try and scratch his itch. He proceeds right to soliciting what he wants in his very first message without so much as attempting to figure out if the person he's messaging would actually be into the same things he is--and yes, that's a big fucking deal. Plenty of Fish isn't Fetlife. It's not catering to a niche crowd of people that want to explore that side of themselves. It's about widening your social circle, meeting people, and potentially falling in love or friendship with them.

If you're on PoF looking for casual sex, then your profile needs to explicitly say so. There's no need to bullshit people with a bunch of commentary about how good a father you are since when it comes down to it, you're not looking for someone to meet your kids. You're looking for someone to jump on your dick. As such, the more you talk about how awesome a single dad you are while messaging people about sex, the more you look like a fucking liar who is out for his own self-interests with little concern for what anyone else's wants, needs, or desires including your children's.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but as someone with a child and an ex who has been through woman after woman since we went out separate ways romantically, I can say that it's pretty fucking sickening when people use their "single father" status as a means to get into panties, and those people rarely have the best interests of their children in mind. --jenniy

I have 10 photos on my profile on OKC and one is a bit risque. Not terribly so but just a teaser. Somehow I don't think that's what he was talking about though, do you? I'm pretty sure with his nonchalant pet name and ab-showing profile pic, he was looking to score some pics of my tits and/or show off his dick. In this day of revenge porn where even someone you trust will turn your photos into an amateur porn site, do I really want to run the risk of sending out my various body parts to a random stranger? It's not exactly very rewarding either to do so to say the least. I don't really get much out of seeing a photo of a cock that I really don't care to play with in person not that I would ever get the opportunity to...because let's face it, when someone asks to trade pics instead of actually asking you to hang out, you're not getting anything else. It's a fucking dating site. It's not an amateur porn site. Jesus fucking christ... If you want to show your dick off, go post it on a site that encourages that bullshit. --jenniy

"I expect nothing in return."

That's really the thing that gets me about this one. I mean, sure, this is a pretty douchey message overall, but it's that one line that really pisses me off.

First, this girl has to deal with this message. Second, she has to actually meet up with this guy who is only interested in her because she has what he perceives to be a "beautiful rack." He obviously doesn't see her as a person with labels such as "rack." She's an object. A tit holder. Third, she has to strip down once she does meet this guy and let him latch onto one of her most intimate areas in a way that is likely going to be wholly creepy.

Nothing the fuck in return?

Dude, you're getting ALL THE BENEFITS.

All.

The.

Benefits.

She gets nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. This has absolutely nothing to do about her and what she wants.

So that one sentence "I expect nothing in return" is just a slap in the face in an otherwise mundane message, and it makes me want to track this guy down and beat him with a dildo. --jenniy

Finally!!!!

Finally, someone understands what women want.

That's right... what women really want is to see a video of a random stranger jerking off and jizzing all over his hands. There's nothing better. Seriously. That's all we've ever wanted.

Fuck conversation.

Who needs to know your name?

We would never want anything like, for instance, going out to dinner (splitting the bill).

Why bother having our own orgasms or even being touched?

It all boils down to seeing a strange dick flopping around on a poor quality video then gurgling on camera after 2 minutes tops of hand fucking.

It's the most fulfilling interaction one could ever possibly have with another human being.

Or maybe the men that ask these sorts of things need to stop watching so much porn that having a regular interaction with a woman is too much to fucking ask. --jenniy