DoucheArt

Let's just start with the obvious on this one or at least the obvious to me. Perhaps it's not really Chinese history that is hard to learn. Perhaps since it's impossible for this guy to correctly construct one sentence, he is having a bit more trouble than the average person. In other words, his lack of intelligence makes this a very poor analogy.

If someone sent me the message, "Hi, beautiful. I'm Brian, and I just wanted you to know that you make me harder than it is to learn Chinese history," I might laugh. I likely wouldn't respond because I don't want to encourage this kind of behavior even in jest, but I would still smirk. If he followed it with someone letting me know it was a joke or letting me know anything else, I probably would respond. It's certainly more creative than the multitudes of dudes wanting to jizz on my glasses. But, upon seeing screenshots of the rest of this conversation between the girl it was sent to and Brian, it was obvious that he really meant what he said. He really wanted her to know that he made his dick hard.

Imagine you're sitting on the bus and a random man walks up to you. I don't care what gender you are or what your sexual orientation is (because the guys who send these messages really don't care about that either when it all comes down to it). Just imagine it. You're on the bus minding your own business, maybe looking around you at all the people off in their own worlds wondering what they're thinking about or what they're on the way to do. A man walks up and sits down beside you. He looks you up and down, winks, and says, "you make my dick hard."

IT'S NOT FUCKING FLATTERING.

It's creepy. There's no way to react well to that because it's just such a violation coming from a complete stranger whose erection may be of no interest to you. But, you're now guaranteed to have to picture his dick getting hard which is what he wanted in the first place. The most personal space of all-your own thoughts--has been violated by this idiot's hard-on, and he knows it.

It's the same on the Internet. Hearing about some guy's hard-on isn't really what most people are looking for in a first message. Don't be that guy. And if you've got to be that guy, spell things correctly.  --jenniy