DoucheArt

First off, Staxx, it's "waste" in this instance not "waist" but I'm willing to overlook the grammar issues. I am not, however, willing to overlook the fact that I don't know you. I don't know if you're a murdering serial rapist. I don't know if you like to punch women in the face during sex. And, I certainly don't know if you're going to pass me some herpes with our little grind session. So, do me a fucking favor and keep your dick in your pants. --jenniy

Hey Person I don't know...send me your number so I can send you some pics!

PASS!!!!  I don't care how pretty you think I am.  I don't want your dick pics!

Cuckolding is such a fancy word for "fuck my partner while I watch", but according to The Daily Beast cuckolding is "The Intellectual Sex Fetish" and so much more than one Redneck asking another Redneck to fuck his wife.  Um...whatever.  It just brings up memories of awkward propositions made to me in a bar a time or two.

Anyway, this little gem was sent to me by The Pink Polka Dotted Unicorn who I suspect we'll be hearing a lot from because she attracts freaks like no other.  And a small part of me can't wait.

Apparently, the fact that I looked and wasn't interested hurt his wittle feelings and he felt the need to come back and tell me he's not interested.  And I'm the stalker?  Right.

It's so lovely when you meet someone you think you click with and all of a sudden you get a message just before meeting him and he says the sweetest words you've ever seen typed in black and white before you... And you get so fucking giddy with the warm fuzzies that you can't even make it to the date.

Or, maybe you didn't make it to the date because this is one of the most horrible propositions a person could make?

At the very least he could have offered to get her off first, right?

--jenniy

*Sigh*  It started out like a normal conversation..... he told me I was beautiful, I said "thank you", and he sent me another message asking how my day was.  I didn't get the message until 2 hours later when he sent this one.  I don't know what he was responding to because I hadn't answered his last message but I don't know anyone who thinks of me when they use the facilities.  Well...my ex did, but only because on his list of priorities I came after "Wipe Ass".  Wait...what was I talking about?  Crap, all this water is making me have to pee.  -- Hot Ash

I just don't the appeal. There are so many better places than on my glasses. On top of that, given the fact that I need these things TO FUCKING SEE 5 FEET IN FRONT OF MY FACE I really don't think I want them covered in drying, sticky semen.

The next question is why is this even a remotely good idea for a first message? Hot Ash keeps having conversations that start out normally, but this is what I get right off the bat. Bam! "Hey baby I never met you but you want some of my sticky stuff somewhere on or in your body?" It's gross. I at least want to have a conversation about how much better my taste is in music than yours before we proceed to the exchange of bodily fluids, ok?

Here's the thing. All my photos are from the neck up on this profile. I had never spoken to this person before. Now, I will concede that I have "hot boobs" by most definitions, but how the fuck did he know and what kind of first message is this?

Oh Scott.  In his defense I think that is supposed to be a compliment and isn't for obvious reasons, but I'm still kind of wondering..  Just remember....

After a nice and quiet afternoon, Mike decided to message me again out of the blue...

Really, Mike?  Maybe it isn't the fact that you're super sexual, but your approach.