Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I don't even know where to start. Like... I'm literally speechless. I guess I should start by telling you that the first message was sent to me at 12:54 and the second was sent at 6:42 IN THE MORNING. I guess I should start by sharing a little knowledge I've learned since beginning this adventure with Jenniy...
Nothing good happens online after midnight.
Seriously. It's become apparent to me that the worst messages I've gotten have come after midnight. And by worst I mean most explicit as well as offensive to those of us who actually write and speak English. What the hell does this guy have against punctuation? I've read this message more times than I care to admit, and part of it is because I read it once, then read it again to decipher it into sentences.
I don't know why he feels it is ok to ask me why I'm really single. Does anyone know why they're really single? Is that a legitimate question I am supposed to know the answer to? How should I answer that... with a string of complaints about my ex and why we broke up? Should I just pour out my insecurities as to why I think someone wouldn't be interested in me? I just have no idea exactly how someone is supposed to respond to that.
Then, when I don't respond to him (you know, because I'm sleeping) I get this message "So let me guess your picky rite". Is that a statement or a question, Kerri? But here's what I REALLY want to know... what are you really trying to say?
I didn't answer because I was sleeping... like normal people who don't work third shift usually do at 1 a.m. What does that have to do with me being picky? Kerri's response, when he didn't get an immediate reply from me, only tells me that he has some issues with perceived rejection (super scary and unhealthy) and that he doesn't have what it takes to impress or be with a woman who is "picky" because a man who does doesn't need to resort to such pathetic tactics to get a woman to respond. While I'm sure it was intended as some kind of implication that I shouldn't be picky, it mostly just comes off as being a very bold statement that says having a type, having standards, and preferences is a personal insult to him and more than likely because he already knows he can't meet the bar.
And the truth is, I wanted to argue with him and be like, "No, I'm not picky!" and then I realized... WHY THE HELL SHOULDN'T I BE PICKY? And why wouldn't I WANT to be and have people know that about me? The truth is that in the past I have given people a chance instead of being picky and why should I? I deserve to have and be with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm settling. I shouldn't have to date someone or talk to someone to avoid being HARASSED or called a bitch. I should be able to not respond or tell someone I'm not interested if I'm not without it being implied that something is wrong with me for having standards. This right here is the entire reason there is such an entitlement problem in this country that leads to men like Elliot Rodger to kill women.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
I DO NOT HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AND IF IT IS BECAUSE I'M BEING PICKY... SO FUCKING WHAT? I CAN BE PICKY IF I WANT...YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY TIME, MY CONVERSATION, MY BODY OR ANYTHING ELSE.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
POWER TO THE PICKY PEOPLE!
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