Showing posts with label domestic abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domestic abuse. Show all posts
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Several weeks ago, we called out the NFL as DOTW for their role in mishandling domestic violence cases involving league players with Ray Rice’s punching bag session on his now wife Janay Palmer being the most recent example. In that case, Rice was originally given a 2 game suspension which we felt was far less than what was deserved especially given that other players have suffered far harsher punishments for lesser transgressions including pot use—pot, a drug which is slowly becoming legalized or decriminalized across the country. We felt this was just another example of this country’s perpetuation of a culture of violence against women. It’s far too accepted and ignored overall and our cultural mindset often lays blame on the victim instead of the perpetrator.
Since that post, the NFL rightfully felt the public pressure tightening down on the organization with demands for changes in its penal system that would treat domestic violence as the serious crime and problem that it is. In doing so, the NFL decided that on a first offense, a player would be given a 6 game suspension with a second offense earning the perpetrator an indefinite suspension. This, however, did not retroactively apply to the recently punished Rice…all hell broke loose when the elevator video of Rice’s assault of Palmer finally reached the public.
As it should have.
By now, everyone that cares has probably seen that video in all its gritty, nauseating awfulness. It’s not a pretty sight and I’m not going to link to it again here. If you haven’t seen it, feel free to do a quick search. It won’t take you long to find it. It has certainly made its rounds and forever emblazoned perhaps the worst moment of Janay Palmer’s life on history.
I don’t want to have an epic conversation about Ray Rice and Janay Palmer, though. I will say that without a doubt that Rice deserved the indefinite suspension by the NFL he received after the video was seen across the country and to be cut altogether from the Ravens. I will also say that Janay Palmer deciding to still marry Rice after the incident has no effect whatsoever on how we, as a society, should treat the perpetrators of domestic violence. It does not make one single fuck that she stayed. She has a myriad of reasons for doing so just as my mom had hers for staying with my dad despite the violence for more than 17 years. Instead of it being the victim’s responsibility to make sure society responds by braving the odds and leaving (women, statistically are far safer staying than walking away), the conversation should be about the appropriate response REGARDLESS of what the victim does and the appropriate PROACTIVE measures to take to reduce the number of domestic assault cases that are happening in this country and even around the world.
That’s why this week, I chose a diamond. I chose a diamond that actually gave me goosebumps the first time I watched the video of his little speech. Not only is it an important one to have overall and one that women are having constantly, but it comes from a MALE SPORTSCASTER who can actually have a hell of a lot of influence on this kind of conversation. When the majority, a man in this case, participates in the larger conversation, other men are more likely to notice, pay attention, and perhaps rethink previous positions.
I cannot add much to his monologue, so I’m just going to let James Brown speak for himself. Check out the video below and share that motherfucker as much and as often as you can.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
So many douches, so little time.
There’s another story this week, though, that garnered a good bit of attention—the abuse and assault of Christy Mack by her ex-boyfriend Jonathan Koppenhaver a.k.a War Machine, a 32 year old, welterweight MMA fighter.
As the story goes, last Friday, Koppenhaver showed up unannounced at Mack’s home last weekend. He found her in the company of a male friend. He beat this man and kicked him out of the house, but this wasn’t enough to satisfy his rage. He, then, turned his fists on his ex-girlfriend…and not for the first time. When she opened up about the attack later, she revealed that she had 18 broken bones in her face, a ruptured liver, broken ribs, broken and missing teeth, stab wounds and lacerations from a knife used in the attack, and countless horrible bruises as revealed by the pictures she bravely shared. This was in addition to “War Machine” forcing her to strip naked and shower in front of him, attempting to rape her, and cutting off most of her hair.
Mack managed to run away from the attack and sought help at a neighbor’s. If she hadn’t, chances are she would be dead right now. According to her story, she ran from the house after the first knife broke while “War Machine” was searching, she assumed, for another one in her kitchen.
The obvious douche here is this supposed “fighter” who is a repeated domestic abuser. This is not the first time he has beaten Mack though the severity of this was much worse than his typical rage-fueled violent attacks. This is a man whose body is toned and honed specifically for fighting and who is trained for the sole purpose of beating the shit out of people. To turn around and use those “skills” on someone who he says he was going to ask to marry him is perhaps one of the douchiest things a person can do…
Christy Mack is a fucking human being. The End. I’m tired of seeing “porn star Christy Mack” in headlines as if the only thing that matters about this woman is what she did for a living. She was abused as a woman outside of her career by someone who supposedly loves/loved her. Her career choice is in no way an open invitation for men to beat her nearly to death. Her job is not equivalent with abuse. She is in no way less of a human being or less of a woman for having chose the type of work that she has.
If she were a “regular” actress, a Scarlet Johansen or Emma Watson, would she still be getting the blame that she is right now? She’d be getting some because that’s the nature of the world we live in, unfortunately. Victims of domestic abuse always shoulder the blame despite having zero culpability in these attacks, but it wouldn’t be to this degree. Of that, I have no doubt.
If, instead of beating a former lover, “War Machine” got into a fight and almost beat a male porn star to death in a bar, would we care about the fact that he was a porn star? Not a fucking chance.
If “War Machine” had beaten and nearly killed his dog, would anyone blame the dog? Certainly not. So, why do dogs get more respect than a woman who decided on her own volition to take a job in the adult film industry? Why is it that porn is perfectly fine when you’re jacking your dicks to it but all of a sudden it’s something vile and loathsome when it comes to humanizing the people who make your fap material?
It’s a fucked up world when the only way a huge segment of our population can get off is to see the women they get off to as less than human and undeserving of respect. It translates directly into the social inequality problems we see between men and women in modern society and contributes to the kind of victim-blaming, slut shaming, entitled mentality that seems so prevalent right now.
So, to anyone reading this who thinks that this woman deserved what happened to her because of her career choice, to anyone who thinks that she deserves to be treated like anything less than human, to those who think that she somehow asked for this by being in adult films, let me make things clear. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THE VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. EVER. Get it straight. No one deserves to be hurt, maimed, injured, raped, or killed because their career is something you think they should be ashamed of.
Mack managed to run away from the attack and sought help at a neighbor’s. If she hadn’t, chances are she would be dead right now. According to her story, she ran from the house after the first knife broke while “War Machine” was searching, she assumed, for another one in her kitchen.
The obvious douche here is this supposed “fighter” who is a repeated domestic abuser. This is not the first time he has beaten Mack though the severity of this was much worse than his typical rage-fueled violent attacks. This is a man whose body is toned and honed specifically for fighting and who is trained for the sole purpose of beating the shit out of people. To turn around and use those “skills” on someone who he says he was going to ask to marry him is perhaps one of the douchiest things a person can do…
There’s an even bigger douche in this story, though. That may come as quite a shock because you have to
wonder who could possibly be a bigger douche than a man who could do this to a woman’s face and be so nonchalant about it still tweeting about being hungry and “the truth coming out” while in hiding.
There IS a truth that needs airing. That’s why the Douche of the Week this week is you, Interneters. Not all of you certainly, but many of you. There has been quite a buildup of interest in this case over the last week especially after details of Christy Mack’s injuries were released and Dog the Bounty Hunter decided to get involved in the matter. Much of that interest has taken the form of laying blame and shaming Christy Mack for being a porn star/former porn star.
There have been tweets declaring she left herself open for abuse by being an adult film star. Attacks on her character, jokes about finally landing a role that she couldn’t handle, rape jokes, gang bang jokes, and tweets about it being “certain” types of women who fall for abusive men have all been circulating online. It’s sickening.
There IS a truth that needs airing. That’s why the Douche of the Week this week is you, Interneters. Not all of you certainly, but many of you. There has been quite a buildup of interest in this case over the last week especially after details of Christy Mack’s injuries were released and Dog the Bounty Hunter decided to get involved in the matter. Much of that interest has taken the form of laying blame and shaming Christy Mack for being a porn star/former porn star.
There have been tweets declaring she left herself open for abuse by being an adult film star. Attacks on her character, jokes about finally landing a role that she couldn’t handle, rape jokes, gang bang jokes, and tweets about it being “certain” types of women who fall for abusive men have all been circulating online. It’s sickening.
Christy Mack is a fucking human being. The End. I’m tired of seeing “porn star Christy Mack” in headlines as if the only thing that matters about this woman is what she did for a living. She was abused as a woman outside of her career by someone who supposedly loves/loved her. Her career choice is in no way an open invitation for men to beat her nearly to death. Her job is not equivalent with abuse. She is in no way less of a human being or less of a woman for having chose the type of work that she has.
If she were a “regular” actress, a Scarlet Johansen or Emma Watson, would she still be getting the blame that she is right now? She’d be getting some because that’s the nature of the world we live in, unfortunately. Victims of domestic abuse always shoulder the blame despite having zero culpability in these attacks, but it wouldn’t be to this degree. Of that, I have no doubt.
If, instead of beating a former lover, “War Machine” got into a fight and almost beat a male porn star to death in a bar, would we care about the fact that he was a porn star? Not a fucking chance.
If “War Machine” had beaten and nearly killed his dog, would anyone blame the dog? Certainly not. So, why do dogs get more respect than a woman who decided on her own volition to take a job in the adult film industry? Why is it that porn is perfectly fine when you’re jacking your dicks to it but all of a sudden it’s something vile and loathsome when it comes to humanizing the people who make your fap material?
It’s a fucked up world when the only way a huge segment of our population can get off is to see the women they get off to as less than human and undeserving of respect. It translates directly into the social inequality problems we see between men and women in modern society and contributes to the kind of victim-blaming, slut shaming, entitled mentality that seems so prevalent right now.
So, to anyone reading this who thinks that this woman deserved what happened to her because of her career choice, to anyone who thinks that she deserves to be treated like anything less than human, to those who think that she somehow asked for this by being in adult films, let me make things clear. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THE VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. EVER. Get it straight. No one deserves to be hurt, maimed, injured, raped, or killed because their career is something you think they should be ashamed of.
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