Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I wish I could say that this was some sort of sick joke, but it wasn't. This Instagram submission is probably one of the most vile things I've come across since we've been doing this, and that's saying a lot. Let me clarify something.
A DATING SITE IS NOT PORN HUB.
It's just not. The women on a DATING site aren't there for you to throw your fucking money at and steamroll with all the twisted things you'd like to do with your dick while in their presence.
No one is asking for this. If, and this is a huge if, this girl's profile said that she was *only* looking for casual sex, the sex stuff might be understandable, but at the end of the day, these jerks aren't even giving her a chance to be interested in what they look like naked before she's drowning in their cum. These guys are Don Jon's whacking it off 17 times a day who have no idea what to do with an actual woman. If you notice...the first thing he really offers her after the money is to jerk off on her genitalia... That says a lot.
Read some about pornography and how the actual process involved is nothing like what you see on your computer screen. Actual sex, real sex isn't about offering some stranger $250 on the Internet to jerk off on her or watch her like she's some sort of live porno. Fucking jerks.
--jenniy
I don't even know where to start. Like... I'm literally speechless. I guess I should start by telling you that the first message was sent to me at 12:54 and the second was sent at 6:42 IN THE MORNING. I guess I should start by sharing a little knowledge I've learned since beginning this adventure with Jenniy...
Nothing good happens online after midnight.
Seriously. It's become apparent to me that the worst messages I've gotten have come after midnight. And by worst I mean most explicit as well as offensive to those of us who actually write and speak English. What the hell does this guy have against punctuation? I've read this message more times than I care to admit, and part of it is because I read it once, then read it again to decipher it into sentences.
I don't know why he feels it is ok to ask me why I'm really single. Does anyone know why they're really single? Is that a legitimate question I am supposed to know the answer to? How should I answer that... with a string of complaints about my ex and why we broke up? Should I just pour out my insecurities as to why I think someone wouldn't be interested in me? I just have no idea exactly how someone is supposed to respond to that.
Then, when I don't respond to him (you know, because I'm sleeping) I get this message "So let me guess your picky rite". Is that a statement or a question, Kerri? But here's what I REALLY want to know... what are you really trying to say?
I didn't answer because I was sleeping... like normal people who don't work third shift usually do at 1 a.m. What does that have to do with me being picky? Kerri's response, when he didn't get an immediate reply from me, only tells me that he has some issues with perceived rejection (super scary and unhealthy) and that he doesn't have what it takes to impress or be with a woman who is "picky" because a man who does doesn't need to resort to such pathetic tactics to get a woman to respond. While I'm sure it was intended as some kind of implication that I shouldn't be picky, it mostly just comes off as being a very bold statement that says having a type, having standards, and preferences is a personal insult to him and more than likely because he already knows he can't meet the bar.
And the truth is, I wanted to argue with him and be like, "No, I'm not picky!" and then I realized... WHY THE HELL SHOULDN'T I BE PICKY? And why wouldn't I WANT to be and have people know that about me? The truth is that in the past I have given people a chance instead of being picky and why should I? I deserve to have and be with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm settling. I shouldn't have to date someone or talk to someone to avoid being HARASSED or called a bitch. I should be able to not respond or tell someone I'm not interested if I'm not without it being implied that something is wrong with me for having standards. This right here is the entire reason there is such an entitlement problem in this country that leads to men like Elliot Rodger to kill women.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
I DO NOT HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AND IF IT IS BECAUSE I'M BEING PICKY... SO FUCKING WHAT? I CAN BE PICKY IF I WANT...YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MY TIME, MY CONVERSATION, MY BODY OR ANYTHING ELSE.
There is a difference between healthy picky and unhealthy picky. I'm not going to refuse to acknowledge that there are people who are unrealistic in their expectations of a mate. People who choose to be careful about who they get involved with, take things slowly in the beginning and don't rush into things like relationships and commitments shouldn't be grouped with people who are consciously or unconsciously extremely picky in order to find faults in a prospective partner as a means of self-protection. There are some people who hurt themselves in the romance department by being overly critical.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter because when you think about it... doesn't being picky say a lot about what kind of value you put on yourself? It says you're worth more than being with someone who doesn't fulfill your needs. It says you're worth more than someone who disrespects you. It says you value yourself enough to wait for the right person. Fuck anyone who says you shouldn't wait and actively seek exactly what it is you want.
POWER TO THE PICKY PEOPLE!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Quite often, victims of street harrassment are told to smile. It's this whole idea that women are put on the Earth to be pleasing to the eye. Now, before you argue, just consider it. Without knowing why we may be down or angry at the time, without knowing us at all, a perfect stranger feels the need to walk up to us and tell us to smile...smile so you will be more pleasing for me to look at; I bet you have a pretty smile. Do you see random men running up to homeless people to do so? Do you see men go into a mental hospital telling people to smile or walk down the corridors of a hospital feeling the need to tell people to smile? At a funeral? After a tragedy? You can't possibly know what is going on in someone's life at any point in time yet women are constantly told to smile. The end point is that we aren't here to be pleasing to the eye. We have complex lives that come with baggage and problems and issues just like any other person's. When we have a reason to smile, damnit, we will.
I had a friend on Facebook relate a story just the other day of a man BLOCKING her entrance to a store telling her to smile. He actually felt the need to block her path while she entered a store to tell her to smile...a man, a strange man she had never met. That's fucking frightening in public or not especially after he resorted to name-calling when she wasn't thrilled with having to deal with this kind of bullshit.
And when we do smile, we get messages like this one. Great. --jenniy
Dean's first, and only, message. Gee... thanks Dean. I guess I looked cute and in need of that kind of validation. I'm glad you think so.
NO CUTE FOR YOU!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Is this supposed to be some sort of insult? It seems like it. I can only assume that this message is a result of
A) my glasses
B) the fact that I mention knowing how to read and enjoy books
C) I write. For fun. And talk about it. Emphatically.
D) My profile doesn't have any $10 words (for a reason), but everything is spelled and punctuated correctly. That means no abbreviated text/Twitter speak.
I might expect this sort of question from 18-22 year olds, but a 44 year old man thinks I'm a nerd because I read, write, and know how to spell?!?
This. This is a big part of what's wrong with our society right now. When did being vapid become so chic? Not to mention the fact that being a fucking bully and *attempting* to insult someone in a first message is probably douchier than offering to show them your dick.
My response: You say that like it's a bad thing.
--jenniy
Hocus Pocus, starring Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy as a family of witches known as the Sanderson Sisters, came out when I was 7. This, of course, was a pretty big deal in our neighborhood as I was kind of a redhead, my sister was a brunette, and our best friend who lived two houses down the block was a blond. We spent a lot of time pretending we were the three witches "hunting children"; Which, in reality, was the three of us arm in arm going up and down the sidewalk and grunting. I can only imagine what the neighbors who didn't know us must have thought.
Bette Midler was INCREDIBLE and I fell in love with her in this film from her crazy red hair to her exaggerated buck teeth. But... and it's a big BUT, that doesn't mean I want to be told I look like her in this example. I mean, she had some pretty amazing moments but I'm just not feeling it. Which brings me to this guy...
Poor "Bored". If he only knew. The truth is that sometimes I DO look like Bette Midler from Hocus Pocus, like early in the morning....
But goddamn, if anyone were to actually come to me and tell me that I look exactly like Winifred Sanderson in the morning, I'd probably place them in captivity until I sucked the youth out of enough children to make me young and beautiful again and then make them my slaves forever.
What "Captivity" looks like when you're Winifred Sanderson
"Bored" did have a redeeming quality, I guess. When I told him it was me and I wasn't sure whether that was an insult or a compliment, he told me he thought it was sexy. And I'm still not sure how to feel about it.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
While many Americans were chilling their beer, preparing their barbeques and making their potato salads for their July 4th celebrations, in Peru Joran Van der Sloot was getting married.
Who is Joran Van der Sloot? Well, it's been a few years since we heard from him as he has been in prison since 2012 after being convicted of murdering 21 year old Stephany Flores in 2010. They met in a Peruvian casino where they hooked up and he later beat, suffocating and strangled her.
Stephany Flores
Stephany Flores' name and face might not seem familiar because she didn't get nearly as much media attention in the United States as the other woman Van der Sloot is suspected of killing... an American teenager from Alabama who disappeared while on a graduation trip to Aruba named Natalee Holloway.
Senior Portait of Natalee Holloway, courtesy of Wikipedia
So... Van der Sloot is sitting in a Peruvian prison serving 28 years when he meets Leidy Figueroa who is there visiting a relative. She is now 7 months pregnant with his child as the prison allows conjugal visits.
Must be nice. It must be nice to kill one woman and leave another woman's family without answers after taunting them for years and still be able to find someone to marry and have children with. I bet his parents are thrilled to get a daughter-in-law and get to have a grandchild...thrilled in ways Stephany and Natalee's parents will never know. And while he will not face charges for Natalee's murder until his 28-year sentence for Stephany's murder is completed, I still believe he knows exactly what happened to Natalee which only makes him more of a monster.
There is so much controversy surrounding Van der Sloot it is impossible to know just how deep his crimes run. Was the sex with Stephany consensual? His violence in killing her make me wonder if the sex was consensual. What happened to Natalee? Did he rape her? Did he have anything to do with her death? Her body was never found... is she dead or are the rumors of Van der Sloot's involvement with the sex slave trade true? Could she possibly be alive or did she die in some horrible place, raped and abused and discarded like garbage?
The sad fact of the matter is that Van der Sloot's list of possible crimes run so deep and the lies so thick that it is impossible to know just how deep the evil runs in him. But the facts are that he is a predator, possibly a sexual predator as well, who abuses and kills women.
The worst part is.... he still feel persecuted as proven by his numerous attempts at extorting Natalee's parents for money in exchange for the location of her body because they "made his life hard for 5 years", as well as suing various government agencies and attempting to sue the parents of his victims.
Yes... Joran Van der Sloot, the man sitting in prison for violently taking the life of one woman and more than two decades from now *MIGHT* be convicted of taking another woman's life, got married this week to a woman who is carrying his child. Her mother allegedly attended the wedding. How proud she must be that her new son-in-law is a two time abuser and killer of innocent women, extortionist, and now father to her grandchild. I can only imagine what kind of morals and wisdom a "person" such as Van der Sloot could pass on to a child as someone so severely lacking in both.
Honestly, I can't decide who is the bigger douche Joran or the new Mrs. Van der Sloot. What a terrible situation to bring a child into. But the worst part about it all is the fact that Stephany and Natalee will never, ever get to have the things Joran is apparently getting to have even from behind bars. They'll never get married, they'll never find love, they'll never again get to feel a loving touch, or have children.... all these things he took from not one but two women he gets to have. All I can hope is that the child is a beautiful little girl who is smart and healthy and beautiful and someday he has to sit down and warn her about the ugly and terrible things men do, men like her father.
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