DoucheArt

Here at DoucheArt, we often get suggestions as to where we might find men because it seems that this online dating thing isn't working out or proving to be successful for either one of us.  In fact, it has been not only suggested but downright recommended (by a man no less) that we experience the freedom of anonymous sex via Craigslist ads.  Perhaps he doesn't really read our blog or he would know that neither one of us is experiencing a shortage of men inviting us to sit on their face, let them come over, or take one in the face.  The fact of the matter is, if we wanted sex with a stranger we could find it doing exactly what we are doing now.  We choose not to.

Quite frankly, I'm amazed that someone could meet someone on Craigslist for anything whether it be a long term relationship or a quickie.  The sheer number of outright weird responses I got trying to sell something not long ago was enough to scare me away from selling anything on Craigslist, much less trying to give something like blow jobs or sex away.

We don't judge here at DoucheArt, but I think I can speak for both of us when I say that Jenniy and I just aren't interested in finding someone on Craigslist.  If you are interested in meeting people using the popular site, however, please be safe because this week's Douche of the Week only proves that Safe Sex really is a necessity, not an option.

Meet 36 year old, married, Oklahoma City resident Martin Kraham.  Kraham has been posting ads on Craigslist in the Personals Section looking for men, women, couples, transsexuals, and crossdressers in both Oklahoma and Colorado since 2008.  According to reports, investigators have gathered information showing that Kraham has posted 695 personals ads seeking sex on the site in the last six and a half years.  Martin Kraham is also HIV+. and has been aware of it since 2007.  His former partners, however, are only becoming aware of it now.

 While reports have yet to fully detail the exact nature of the relationships Kraham was having with the women who have reported him to authorities (not that it matters, but I would be interested to know if this was risky sexual behavior on both sides, or if the women Kraham was meeting believed they were meeting someone who was interested in a relationship), they all sound the same for the most part: They met him on Craigslist.  They initially used condoms until he asked to go without.  Kraham told them he was clean and got tested regularly.  They took his word for it.  They later found out that he was, in fact, HIV positive.

While the women who have come forward have not tested positive for the virus, it is impossible to know how many people have been exposed by Kraham.  One victim suggested that she knew of 6 people who had sexual contact with Kraham, but suspected it could perhaps be hundreds, maybe even hundreds per year.  Kraham was arrested this week and faces two counts each of Knowingly Engaging in Conduct Likely to Transfer HIV and Using Access to Computers to Violate Oklahoma State Statute.

It pains me to know that there are people like this in the world.  People who do things like this to other people, and for what?  But most importantly, why?

Not that it would make a damn bit of difference to me, but I'd like to know what Mr. Kraham's reasons are for doing such a thing.  Perhaps he struggled to deal with his own diagnosis, but that is no excuse for exposing hundreds of other people.  Clearly, he acknowledged the seriousness of his HIV+ status as his wife claims to have known about it all along.

Speaking of Kraham's wife...she is standing by him because she claims he was honest with her about his HIV+ status from the very beginning of their relationship.  They have been married for more than a year, and dated for five years before getting married.  In other words, while Kraham was honest with the woman who became his wife about his HIV+ status, he's been soliciting anonymous sex online for their entire relationship.  I can't help but wonder what kind of fucked up person stays with someone and says they'll be fighting criminal charges and civil suits side by side with their husband who did what Martin Kraham did.

While Martin Kraham is a scumbag, piece of shit liar, he is not the only responsible party.  Every person he hooked up with made the decision to have unprotected sex with someone they met on the internet based solely on their words.  Anyone can claim to be disease free, but there isn't really any way of knowing without having a monogamous relationship for over 90 days and getting tested together before having unprotected sex.  That's the reality.  I'm not blaming the victims, however... there were two responsible parties involved (or more, for that matter) that made the irresponsible decision to go bareback.

Kraham might be the devil.  It is impossible to say how many lives he has negatively impacted, possibly ruined either from actually transmitting the virus to them or just giving them the scare of their life.  The fact of the matter is that there is still not cure for HIV or AIDS.  While there are 31 different kinds of antiretroviral treatments, in 2012 the cost for those treatments was between $2,000-5,000 PER MONTH.

It is impossible to say how many people Kraham engaged in risky sexual behavior with who later went on to engage in more risky sexual behavior with others.  While Kraham's behavior is disgusting, appalling and downright terrifying, what is even more frightening to me is just how many people willingly agreed to have risky sex with a stranger.  Again, I'm not trying to blame the victims, but I can't help but think that we should have reached a point in our world where we know about things like STDs, STIs, crotch critters, and HIV.  The information is out there and so is the preventative.



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