DoucheArt

My Driver's License should have a color wheel.  In the past 10 years I've been almost every shade of brown and red, and I've even been blonde.  That being said, I have a couple of different photos of myself on my dating profile and they all have a different hair cut or color.  Clearly this guy didn't know what to make of that so he tried to cover all of the bases.

I guess maybe I should give him a little credit, he did try to be inclusive of all my hair colors.  What would have been even better is if he would have tried having a conversation with me.  Maybe we could have done something like he talked about on his profile....

"A good lunch followed by couple drinks and good conversation. Finding out there are plenty of things to talk about due to similar opinion and interests. Also if you don't approve of medicinal marijuana then you are either so brain washed or so stupid that I cant talk to you. Any doctor that prescribes opiate pain medication before exploring if marijuana would work first should have their medical license permanently taken away."

Instead, I get this weird first message.  And did I mention that he kinda looks like a drug user?  I'm down with P.O.T but this guy kind of looked like he might dabble in meth or something.  Maybe I'm just being a judgmental asshole against weird-looking skinny dudes.

I didn't respond for a few days, but then decided that when in doubt, honesty is the best policy and I responded with the most honest answer I could:

It is 2014, people.

If you were to look around you, it might not seem like it especially if you have a vagina or identify as a woman, but it’s true. It’s 2014, but we still have “news” anchors who refer to females in combat as “boobs on the ground.”

Let me provide some background on this story for those who aren’t privy to it already. Earlier this week, Major Mariam Al Mansouri became the first female pilot of the United Arab Emirates to command an airstrike against Isis. That’s a huge accomplishment especially for Maj. Al Mansouri and really for women everywhere. It’s not the first time a female pilot has played a major role in the military. In fact, at least for the United States, female bomber pilots date back to WWII and in 1944, the U.S. Army Air Forces Commander went on record to state that women can fly as well as men.

Yet here we are in 2014 with Fox News anchors, Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfeld, making statements such as “problem is, after she bombed it, she couldn’t park it…” and “would that be considered boobs on the ground, or no?”

Both have since half-heartedly apologized for such statements but those really amount to nothing especially since Bolling admitted he was apologizing because it angered his wife.

Let me be the possibly millionth person to point out that earlier in the segment both men were discussing, heatedly, the fact that President Obama saluted an armed services member with a coffee cup in his hand. The biggest scandal this week is that our President, a known human being, forgot to switch his coffee cup into his other hand and saluted, awkwardly, with the fucking thing. And in doing so, he ignited so much conservative ire that these same two men were shouting into the camera about how these people put their lives on the line for their country and should be shown a little respect.

Let that sink in…

People in armed services should be shown a little respect and not be saluted, unintentionally, with a coffee cup in hand (but it was fine and dandy for President Bush to do so with a dog in his hand, let me add) but it is perfectly fine to then make fun of a female officer’s accomplishments by joking that she cannot park her jet and referring to her as boobs on the ground.

Apparently respect only extends to those individuals who aren’t women. Fuck the so-called fairer sex. Fuck us. When it comes to putting our lives on the line, it’s a big goddamn joke. Don’t let the President salute a man with a coffee cup in hand, but let’s make a big fucking mockery of a huge accomplishment by a female officer. Turn something remarkable and quite serious given Fox News’ apparent fear of ISIS into a laugh riot at her expense.

We don’t need feminism though. It’s time for women to realize that being a feminist isn’t going to get us the men we want. We’re creating this ‘war on women” all in our pretty little heads. We got what we wanted and now we’re just power hungry. We’re manhaters. It’s about hate not equality. Right??? Right?

I’ll believe that feminism isn’t necessary when in the same program, two asshats like Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfield aren’t screaming for respect for our troops then completely degrading a female officer. I’ll stop being a self-identified feminist when anchors on this same station stop blaming women for being raped. I’ll stop when they stop claiming that women don’t really want pay equality.

I’ll stop when I no longer get messages from men who tell me that it all evens out anyway because we can flash our tits and get a free drink whenever we want… When people no longer feel it necessary to send the types of messages I use to make DoucheArt… When men can get custody of their children instead of judges telling them that a child being with a “shitty” mother is better than being with their father… When it’s not a woman’s fault if her nude photos are leaked… When the pay gap closes for ALL women especially WOC who face a larger gap than their White counterparts… When being of child-bearing age is no longer a reason why we didn’t get the fucking job…

When there’s no longer a need for feminism, I’ll be the first to shed the label.

I pinky swear.

So, I  know what this message is referring to. I'm not exactly sure what it means as a standalone first message unless it's just a ploy to get me to respond....but why? Why would I respond to that? Either way, I think at this point, it's officially safe to say that dating sites are completely fucking broken. Anyone want to venture a guess at what this message is all about? I'm done.

--j

I can understand after having known someone a while with the anticipation building up that some "flirty" pics may be exchanged or even with someone you're into that you haven't seen in some time just to keep things spicy, but to message someone and immediately request that nude photos be swapped is a little bit much.

Jay,

I can promise you that you have nothing under your shirt or in your pants that I haven't seen before in real and in photos many, many, many, many times before. I don't care about seeing it again from someone I have zero attraction to based on a sad ass, no effort dickhole of a message. And no, it certainly wouldn't be funny to find my photos plastered on some bullshit amateur site when you got bored with looking at them and decided to pass along the booty (pun intended). So... go take about 20 more photos of your cock. I'm sure they'll come in handy one day.

love,

j

We here at DoucheArt want to ring in the best holiday of the year by participating in a joint-blogger giveaway hosted by More Than Cheese and Beer. You can check out her original post here.

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